Mark Manson will be touring Australia and New Zealand in November, bringing Kiwis and Aussies his "no BS" brand of self-improvement.
Mark Manson will be touring Australia and New Zealand in November, bringing Kiwis and Aussies his "no BS" brand of self-improvement.
Opinion by Sarah Pollok
Sarah Pollok, Multimedia Journalist at New Zealand’s Herald, specialises in covering stories on travel and tourism, travelling as close as Waiheke and far as Ecuador for work.
Mark Manson is the #1 New York Times Bestselling author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life.
Estimates expect the self-help book industry to reach US$14 billion by 2025
Manson will visit Auckland on Friday, November 15 for one night as part of his Australia/NZ tour
In November, bestselling American self-help author and blogger Mark Manson will visit Auckland for one night as part of an Australia-New Zealand tour. Sarah Pollok gets a taste of what audiences can expect as they discuss wellness fads, social media and how to create a life you love.
For years, I’ve struggled (and failed) to have a “morning routine”. Even if you haven’t been served an endless stream of videos about them on social media, as any 20-something white woman has, you’ll know what I’m referring to.
Specifics vary but the vibe is always the same; some beautiful, athletic and ambitious person starts their morning practising mindfulness/journalling/gratitude while drinking a healthy beverage before hitting the gym, performing a multi-step skincare routine and starting work all before most people have tumbled out of bed.
Inspired and enamoured by these goddesses of productivity and joy, I’ve either wrestled my schedule to fit the mould or criticised myself for falling short. So, it’s both freeing and frustrating when New York Times Bestseller and famous self-help guru Mark Manson tells me morning routines, in his perspective, are one of the most overrated things ever.
Manson published The Subtle Art in 2016 and has gone on to launch a podcast, second book and film.
So are supplements, he tells me from his slick recording studio in New York, and the Pomodoro technique, where you work in timed bursts. These things aren’t bad, the 35-year-old clarifies, but they tend to conceal the “real problem”, which is not loving your life.
“If what you’re doing feels really, really important, you don’t really need a timer to help. You get s*** done,” he says. “You don’t need a morning routine to inspire you for the day, You just wake up and you’re already inspired.”
Even if a certain routine is helpful for one person, he adds, it’s misleading to suggest that approach is the ideal everyone should follow.
“We all have different biology. Right? What works for you isn’t gonna work for me, or vice-versa,” he said, adding that people need to experiment with what feels good for them.
“I’m not like this superhuman dude who’s like getting up at 3.30 am the morning and running 50 miles. It’s great if you want to do that, go for it. But to most of us, that sounds terrible so why pretend it’s not?” he says.
In an industry rife with unattainable standards earnestly preached by people whose full-time job is to literally be “well”, Manson’s intentionally brash (and famously explicit) style is why his work has global appeal, with his 2016 bestseller The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck selling a cool 20 million copies.
After enduring the book’s abundance of expletives, I expected our chat would have to be heavily censored yet was pleasantly surprised to find that Manson in person was just as passionate but more linguistically mellow than his books.
That being said, Manson does believe nighttime routines are “the real s***” that “nobody talks about” according to a recent episode of his podcast.
In Manson’s opinion, if you take care of the evening (which, for him looks like switching off screens at 9pm, not eating late and getting good quality sleep), the morning automatically improves.
Manson, as I discovered after reading his book and chatting over a video call, really does have a revelation and often describes concepts to his audience as “unknown truths” or “secrets” that “no one else” is keyed into.
In some cases, the idea is novel or the guest on his podcast presents new findings (such as Jonathan Haidt sharing research behind his book The Anxious Generation). Other times, however, the idea isn’t unknown or new at all but rather counter-cultural or very, very old; a critique readers have been vocal about regarding The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***. In person, however, Manson happily admits that presenting old ideas, alongside sharing new ones, is a passion of his.
“I love creating. I love sharing ideas. I love taking old ideas and spinning them around and creating new packaging around them that will excite people and land for people.”
There is value in this too. Few people will chew through Marcus Aurelius’ first-century Meditations or the sutras of Zen Buddhism, making space for people to take these old wisdoms and share them in a way that cuts through cultural forces or noisy influencers.
Because, in Manson’s opinion, if we aren’t clear on what we find important, larger forces (whether it’s the amorphous “capitalism”, or the cult-status gym down the road) will jump in and tell us how to spend our money, time and energy.
Despite the nihilistic name, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*** isn’t a pessimistic rejection of all things but rather getting clear on what we value and directing our lives towards that, ignoring the rest.
“You have to care about something, so the question then becomes: What are you choosing to care about? What are the battles that you’re picking in your life and are they worth having?” Manson explains, describing this as “the ultimate question” that can empower people to change the direction of their lives.
Of course, this doesn’t mean there is some magical problem-free path, as many self-help gurus would like us to think is just one probiotic/diet/routine/fitness plan away.
“Every path in life is going to be stressful at some point. It’s finding the stress that feels, at least invigorating, if not worthwhile,” he explains.
This concept is the foundation of one of the most popular quotes in his book: “Life is essentially an endless series of problems. The solution to one problem is just the creation of another.”
The quote refers to a lie our brains love to believe (which aforementioned gurus exploit): once we achieve a certain desire, be it a house, spouse, job or body shape, we will enter a perpetual state of unwavering happiness.
A little thing called hedonic adaptation (the way our brains adapt to improved circumstances before desiring something else) is one reason this fantasy is flawed. Another, according to Manson, is that our fantasies rarely consider the costs or issues that inevitably accompany our desired goals.
“Yeah, maybe that marriage makes you really happy but now you’ve got a spouse, and you gotta figure out your boundaries and you gotta fight over who takes the trash out and you gotta deal with your in-laws,” Manson offers as an example. You solve your “problem” of singleness (if that’s personally undesirable) but acquire new, marriage-specific problems. Life may improve (you’d rather argue over chores than live alone) but it’s not problem-free.
As for what problems you should have, Manson leaves that to individuals to decide for themselves.
“I’ve always been very, very careful not to shove my values down people’s throats or like, tell people ‘Hey, this is what your priorities should be’,” he said, adding that he often sees that prescriptive approach in the self-help industry.
Instead, he offers people questions to ask and suggestions for how to better align their real lives with what they see as important.
Kiwis and Aussies can experience Manson’s no-BS wisdom for themselves at The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*** Live with Mark Manson tour, where he promises to share real-life stories and practical tips to inspire transformation.
Alongside his books and film, Manson regularly shares content on his website, podcast, newsletter and several social media platforms, begging the question, why a tour? And why in our corner of the world?
“I don’t wanna share too much, but I am working on, on some stuff behind the scenes,” Manson said, adding that he wanted to sprinkle these new concepts or projects amongst his more familiar work with real-life audiences, to see how it lands.
As for who should come? “Anybody who is struggling with a sense of clarity or direction,” said Manson, which he described as the “existential crisis of our time”.
The overwhelming amount of information and stimulation we constantly experience makes it challenging to know what to care about or ignore. Manson’s tour, much like his books and podcast, won’t give you the answers but promises to provide questions and tools to discover what matters to you and how to pursue it amidst the noise.
What about our loved ones? When it comes to relationships, Manson is adamant one should never try to change their partner or push them in a certain direction (even if it’s for their own good), likening it to manipulation. Fair enough, but can we buy a partner who needs a little nudge in life a ticket to his tour? Yes, Manson laughs, “that is the one thing you should change in them,” he says with a grin.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*** Live with Mark Manson is coming to Auckland’s Kiri Te Kanawa Theatre on Friday November 15, 2024. For tickets and more information, visit Fane.com.au.
