A man took to Reddit to describe how his cat is responsible for his wife's pregnancy. Photo / Imgur
A man took to Reddit to describe how his cat is responsible for his wife's pregnancy. Photo / Imgur
A man has attempted to explain on Reddit why he believes it is his cat's fault that his wife got pregnant.
Writing in the TIFU ("Today I F***** up") subreddit, the man explained how his pet interfered with the couple's birth control.
He began by explaining that he and his wife had their first child last year and the pregnancy had several complications.
"Fortunately everything was all right in the end and she gave birth to our healthy 4lb 2oz boy just shy of two months early, who's doing fantastic now," the man wrote.
Due to the complications, the couple decided to hold off having another baby for at least a couple of years.
"She started birth control shortly after giving birth to be sure we had no surprises, but the pill tends to make her very sick and she wanted to lose weight, so she stopped taking it," the man said.
"We thought rubbers would be enough, but that's where our cat comes in..."
"I seriously think the greasy orange little shit is still smarter than our nearly one-year-old. He gets into everything, and I do mean everything," he said.
"It's so bad that for weeks after adopting him I thought there was a poltergeist in the house because each morning I'd wake up to find every single cabinet door in the kitchen wide open!"
The condoms were stored in the same drawer as the cotton buds the cat loved playing with.
"He must have seen the box of Q-tips in the drawer when I put my rubbers away, because not even an hour later I stumbled upon a horrific scene of chewed plastic straws, shredded cotton fluff and shiny gold condom wrappers scattered around the gaping drawer that once contained them," the man recalled.
A man took to Reddit to describe how his cat is responsible for his wife's pregnancy. Photo / Imgur
"I didn't think anything of it at the time and just cleaned up the destroyed Q-tips and put the condoms that had spilled everywhere back into their box without a concern in the world."
"We ended up having some sexy time later that night, and I vividly remember stumbling into the dark bathroom, opening said drawer, and blindly fumbling around in the box to pull out a condom (as was the routine) thinking nothing of what happened earlier," he continued.
Long story short, well... the husband and wife are now expecting their second child.
"We start wracking our brains wondering what happened when suddenly it hits me... that damned cat," he wrote.
"I ran over to the bathroom drawer where I kept the condoms, dumped out the box on the counter and started to inspect each miserable little foil square. Sure enough, several had noticeable scratches, teeth marks, and even full-blown punctures in them."
"Can't wait to explain to my new son or daughter one day that they owe their existence to the family cat," he added.
