Have you ever been the new girl? The one hiding at the back, keeping quiet? Trying to blend in as you join a new group or class. Hideous feeling isn't it? I have a particular new girl fear of standing out: I think this came from a childhood of being the new girl in numerous schools, trying very hard not to get picked on.
As a consequence I tried very hard not to offend anyone with anything; to fly under the radar at all times, to dress so I fitted in, to talk about what others wanted to talk about, to like the bands they liked. Constantly trying not to cause a ripple or offence by, (oh! the audacity!) having an opinion of my own.
Not a bad strategy for a bullied 8-year-old. But a bad one to take through to adulthood.
This strategy is outdated and dangerous. It minimises potential and makes us play small. For me I didn't even really know any more what it was I liked or hated! I could no longer hear my own voice and it look a lot of work to tune back into that and to know that I was okay, just as I was.
How beautiful is this quote?
"There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do." - Marianne Williamson
