"You would be fantastic at that!" I heard one woman say to another in a cafe last weekend. "You think well on your feet, you are super-organised and you have fantastic presentation skills; it could be the perfect job." The reply? "Oh, well not really, I am sure there are better presenters, and being organised is nothing special".
"Oh" said the complimentary friend, totally deflated, "right".
I hear this sort of exchange often. It seems to me that many Kiwis struggle to accept compliments. Maybe it's a fear thing around the tall poppy syndrome?
That if we agree "yes thank you, I can absolutely rock out a top presentation", we are somehow immodest and big headed. It's a shame. We are missing out on the uncomplicated rosy glow that a well-placed compliment can bring.
Compliments are actually gifts. They are gifts of words that someone else has specially selected for us and gift wrapped and presented to us with a bow on top.
What would you do if someone gave you an actual physical present all wrapped in shiny paper with a ribbon? Would you reject it and tell them they were wrong to have chosen it?
No, that would be rude. You'd say "thank you", right? Why then do we often reject a gift of words in the form of a compliment?