Louise Thompson: How to stop negative people from bursting your bubble

Just because someone else thinks it's a bad idea does not mean it's a bad idea. Photo / iStock

You know when you have that great plan to quit your job and start your own business (yay!), or move across the country for a new life (yay!), build your own house (yay!), or give online dating a crack after many years solo (yay!) and you are all excited about it, then a well-meaning friend or rellie pours a heap of cold water over it. How it's never going to work. It's a stupid plan. What are you thinking? Do you not realise just how wrong that could go? It's really risky. You obviously haven't thought it through.

And then, almost in an instant, you feel deflated. The excitement drains out of you faster than a punctured balloon and that grand plan is just chalked up to something you never did, even though every cell in your body was screaming for it.

It just becomes an unfulfilled wish, an unobtainable dream, rather than a goal with a plan and a deadline. It becomes a regret. A coulda, woulda, shoulda. And time rolls by and by, and nothing changes.

From such stuff regrets are made. There are a few things you need to know when you are contemplating big, bold, brave new moves. Let's start with three today:
Just because someone else thinks it's a bad idea does not mean it's a bad idea.

It just means they don't agree. That's okay. You don't have to agree. They may have some useful factual or experiential information for you, great, let's have that. Throw it in the mix for consideration and review. But if all they have for you is a broadcast of their own fears and insecurities, they are not facts and that has minimal bearing on the worthiness of YOUR idea, for YOU, in YOUR life, at THIS time.

Be judicious about who you share your bright shiny dream with especially when it's new and delicate and tiny.

Protect it, nurture it, invest in it, and make sure you have only like-minded souls in on the plan while it's in the embryonic stages. Telling the wider world at the start can kill your plan off with negative energy before it's even started. Keep your inner circle tight and positive, especially in the early stages. When it's more advanced and robust sure, widen the circle, but while it's in its nascent state you need to nurture it in an environment of positivity and belief.

The more you have your own approval the less you need anyone else's.

Do YOU like your plan? Do you FEEL your plan. Feel it in your body? Does your body feel strong and exhilarated when you think about it? Do you approve of the course of action? Are you a sensible adult who can make rational decisions? Have you done your due diligence? Yep, well, in that case the most important approval to be seeking IS YOUR OWN. The more you have your own approval, the less you will be seeking it in others. If you are flapping around seeking external endorsement for your plan all the time, consider the fact that the gap you are feeling is that you haven't done enough of your own work first.

Get clear on the level of your own internal approval first. Get back to basics, do what you need to do to be your own number one supporter first and stop expecting all that approval to come from the outside.

More on this next week.

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