KEY POINTS:
Parents should make up bedtime stories with their children instead of reading from books or playing recordings of other adults reading classic tales, says life coach and corporate trainer and author Ronny M. Cole.
Encouraging children to help develop the plot is a subtle way of gaining an
insight into their mental states. "If they ask a character to do something overtly violent, for example, it gives you the opportunity of finding out if they are troubled about something or harbouring deep anger," said Cole.
"Reading from a book is great but it's simple. Parents can achieve more than just giving their children second-hand stories. We can use bedtime stories to guide our children into being happier and more productive.
"Creating great bedtime stories turns bedtime into a true parent-child activity. A well-told, individually tailored bedtime story can help children acknowledge the emotions triggered by their day while bringing into focus the happiest thoughts they have had," he said. "Making up bedtime stories will create our own legacies for our children.
"Some of the most popular children's books began life as tales told by parents to their children. Watership Down, Richard Adams' first and most successful novel, was based on a collection of tales that he told to his young children during trips to the countryside."
Cole began making up tales when his children demanded a bedtime story on an evening when there were no books nearby. Making up stories can, admitted Cole, be intimidating.
"It's all right to have butterflies in your stomach the first time you try this," he said. "Telling your own story is more involved, and often puts you on the spot. But whether it starts off as a smashing success or leaves you with a smashed ego, your children will grow to love the stories you create together."
"Commit to doing it for one month before you judge its worth," he advised. "After a month, you will know for certain whether your children are getting into it. You'll loosen up after the first few stories. Just start off doing it purely for entertainment. Later, you can begin weaving in the various lessons about morals, science and whatever else you decide."
Last year, Ed Balls, the UK government's Children's Secretary, responded to evidence that one in 10 children in Britain was never read a bedtime story by saying that 10 minutes' bedtime reading a night for every child is as important as a good diet and healthy lifestyle. Pointing to a league table showing the reading skills of English children had plummeted in comparison with other countries, he told parents that reading bedtime stories should be as much a part of their routine as "brushing their teeth or having a bath".
But Cole sees even more long-term benefits to both parents and their children of making up their own stories.
"One big advantage to parents in learning to be creative is that it will help them in their professional life," he said. "The more you practise creativity, the more creative you become and [the] effect will spill over into everything you do. You will find new ideas popping up all the time.
"The benefits to children are also far-ranging. Demonstrating the willingness to be creative sends a message to your child that it's good to be creative themselves; to learn to look at problems differently and imaginatively. Making sure your child is actively involved in the process of creating both the characters and the stories teaches logic, creativity and critical thinking skills, as well as getting them used to making decisions."
Cole said some of the best memories his family has are from the bedtime stories they shared.
"We spent hundreds of hours together, just communicating. It wasn't TV, it wasn't a board game, and it wasn't a book of other people's thoughts and ideas," he said.
"This was truly our time.
"In a world with enough pressure to go around twice, we cuddled up and had fun inventing worlds where problems were solved by silly superheroes of our own design. We stretched our imaginations, honed our thinking skills and we did it together. We learnt, we laughed, and we had a thousand in-jokes."
- OBSERVER
Creating Bedtime Stories for Your Children by Ronny M Cole is published by Hay House.
