Lemony Snicket fans ask the big questions

Novelist Daniel Handler is the alter ego of one Lemony Snicket. In 1999, Handler published the first of the hugely successful A Series of Unfortunate Events children's books under the Snicket name. Since inventing the nom de plume on a whim, 34-year-old Handler has accorded Snicket a full biography, claiming to act merely as his representative. Snicket, so Handler claims, was born in a small town near the sea and devotes his life to recounting the misadventures of the Baudelaire orphans, the central characters of the books. Handler lives in New York and occasionally plays the accordion with the band the Magnetic Fields.

The Independent asked to submit questions and Handler, aka Snicket, answers some of them.

Q: Who are you, and why are you writing these books?
Robert Singh, aged 9

A: I am Lemony Snicket, and why do you want to know?

Q: What is your opinion of Harry Potter?
Yvonne George

A: Harry Potter seems like a very nice, young, fictional man. If I were in the habit of befriending fictional people, I'd be happy to make his acquaintance, but the trouble with fictional friendships is that you tend to find yourself
|sitting in a cafe, talking excitedly to an empty chair. After several hours, the staff will probably force you to leave, even if there are still uneaten madeleines sitting on your plate, all ready to be covered in strawberry jam. Normally, if you were being treated unfairly, you could count on a friend to help you, but a fictional friend — even one with fictional magic powers — will probably just stand there with a confused and fictional look on his or her face.

Q: You warn children against reading your books. Would you advise me not to ask you a question?
Lily Cook

A: I would advise you not to ask me a certain question — "Are you aware of any sinister plans afoot involving Ms Lily Cook?" — as the answer may not please you.

Q: Are you excited about the film of A Series of Unfortunate Events? Is Jim Carrey evil enough to play Count Olaf?
Sam Finch

A: There are countless people in Hollywood evil enough to play Count Olaf. You are very wise to stay in Birmingham instead, and I hope that you have locked yourself inside your house, apartment or yurt rather than venturing outside to a cinema where a certain dreadful film might be showing.

Q: What is the most unfortunate event to have ever happened to you?
Gayle Bosworth

A: Once, I made the mistake of ordering the chicken at a
certain restaurant. Also, I have witnessed a number of deaths.

Q: Why do you never show your face in pictures?
Rebecca Leharne, aged 12, by email

A: My face does appear in quite a few pictures — but it is
simply the back of my face.

Q: Why do you always keep yourself mysterious? Is it because you are a relative of Count Olaf and you look like him?
Bryony Bingle, aged 10

A: I do not keep myself myst-erious — other people keep me mysterious, and I am most grateful to them for their assistance in this. Everyone has a villain or two in their family, but it is not a matter of closeness in facial features or on the family tree. It is a matter of one's own villainous behaviour. 

Q: When did you start playing the accordion? Who taught you? And what is your relationship to the Magnetic Fields?
Jonathan Clay, by email

A: I took up the accordion while at school, as a grand piano could not fit into my locker. I am self-taught, like most accordion players. My relationship to the Magnetic Fields is one of utter respect, although my associate, Mr Handler, has been known to participate more directly.

Q: Your books don't end happily. Their message seems to be that it is only by luck and cunning that you can get ahead in life. Do you agree? And do you think that this is a valuable lesson for children?
Karen Gregory, (mother of a big fan)

A: There are as many methods to get ahead in life as there are "messages" in books, ranging from the methods you cite — luck and cunning — to more noble methods such as integrity, honesty and the careful study of the poetry of Elizabeth Bishop; and less noble methods such as arson, blackmail and making obscene gestures at motorists. In fact, it is virtually impossible to get behind in life, as life has a tendency to march forward obliviously, like so many people we know, and eventually life is over and one's position is not "ahead" or "behind" but "underground" or "scattered to the winds". For this reason it seems like a waste of time to dwell on methods that one might use to get ahead in life, and instead concentrate on what might be a noble and pleasing thing to do with one's time as this march continues. This is a lesson for all of us, not just the young, and it might properly be described not as "valuable" but "inevitable".

Q: Why do so many grown-ups want to read children's books these days?
Holly Mills, by email

A: Grown-ups have always read children's books. They have only recently stopped being ashamed of this practice and have become very brazen, a word that here means showing off about their reading material and occasionally saying
tiresome things such as, "Goodness gracious! This
children's book is good enough to be enjoyed by an adult!"

Q: Are your stories based on real-life things?
Matthew Shuttleworth, aged 10, by email

A: All stories are based on two things: real-life things, and other stories, but these "other stories", of course, are also based on the same two things — real-life things or other stories, and these "other stories" are also based on the same two things, and so on, and so on, and this complicated arrangement is further complicated by the tendency for real-life things to become stories as time passes, and the difference between real-life things and stories becomes complicated, so real-life things tend to get lost inside stories that are based on real-life things and on other stories, or perhaps it's the other way round, with stories based on real-life things and other stories getting lost inside real-life things, which might explain why, in real life, we often feel so very lost that even answering a simple question becomes so exhausting and confusing that we want to lie down with our eyes closed and listen closely to the string quartets of Dmitri Shostakovich and certain 12in singles by New Order.

— INDEPENDENT

* The film, Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, based on the books, is now showing.