Lee Suckling: Why you should go to your high school reunion

"I have no idea what any of my high school friends are doing with their lives now," writes Lee Suckling. Photo / Getty Images

OPINION:

It's been 25 years since Romy and Michele's High School Reunion premiered. A 1997 film, this iconic tale of friendship and the quirks of being an outsider has become a cult hit: the quotes are meme-able up the wazoo, the 80s soundtrack is to die for, and Lisa Kudrow and Mira Sorvino's chemistry hasn't been replicated since.

They are true BFFs, and as seen with recent media appearances at the SAG awards and The Late Show With James Corden, the pair are friendship goals in real life as well.

I don't have any friendships that have stood the test of time like that. Anyone I've known for a decade I consider to be an "old friend"; I'm in touch with absolutely no one from high school.

Per the setting of Romy and Michele's, high school reunions are on my mind because my 20 years since Year 13 is coming up. It makes me wonder, if there were a reunion, would I go? Do I want to reconnect with old high school people? Or am I happier putting my youth well behind me?

This quandary is particularly relevant to my upbringing because I'm originally from Christchurch. The city where everyone is obsessed with what school you went to. A place where most people who live there grew up there and have never left. High school friends are often lifelong friends in that town.

If you're one of the ones who "got out", you probably did so for a reason. I know I did - the conservatism and overbearing whitenesss of my hometown, as a queer person, was suffocating for me.

But that was 20 years ago. Cities change and so do people. I have no idea what any of my high school friends are doing with their lives now - I assume life in the suburbs with kids, because that's what you do in Christchurch, but have no evidence for that and I'm not on Facebook so haven't seen years of baby photos.

Yet there are five good reasons to reconnect with your high school life.

A reminder of your youth

I'm now closer to 40 than 30, so I'm not sure I want to be reminded of my youth. However, I can see that a lot of people would. The funny moments from science class? The stupid sayings from pop culture (I'm looking at you, Anchorman) that got way more mileage than they should have? The embarrassing moments, like when you tied your school shirt around your midriff and lip-synced to Baby One More Time?

Hilarity will ensue when reminded of your youth, and if you're okay with being the butt of the joke, reconnecting with school friends will certainly put you in your place.

See how much you've changed

I've changed a lot in two decades. I went from closeted drama geek to out-and-proud sex columnist. Do you want to be reminded of who you used to be? Some might - especially if you were super popular in school (I wasn't).

If you were the guy or girl who was fawned over, the footy captain, or the Becky with the Good Hair, you might enjoy basking in that glory. Remember your legendary status, as it were.

Others might enjoy realising how much cooler they are now, confident in the knowledge they didn't peak in high school.

Get your best friend back

It's hard to say you have a "best" friend when you're an adult. Too often, your partner becomes your best friend - I know mine has.

But what if you were able to get your original BBF back? The one you could talk to for hours on the phone with every night, after seeing each other all day long? He or she you learned your first dance choreo with, first got drunk and smoked a joint with? The one you told when you lost your virginity and did a play-by-play recollection for (so they could live vicariously through you)?

This is exactly the kind of serendipity that could occur when reconnecting to your high school days.

Lisa Kudrow and Mira Sorvino are friendship goals in real life as well as in their film Romy and Michele's High School Reunion. Photo / Getty Images

Find your teachers

Some of my high school teachers had a major impact on who I've become today. A Year 11 drama teacher was the first person ever to tell me I had a talent for writing. An English teacher told me I should be on TV news. A Spanish teacher gave me a lifelong love of Latin culture and language, and sent me on my first ever overseas trip.

Yet I've never been able to thank them, or show them the fully-fledged human I've become. Wouldn't that be amazing, to tell them 20 years later how much of an impact they really did have?

Fall in love (again)

I bet every reader out there can instantly name the guys and/or girls they crushed on hard throughout their school years. Whether it is the one who got away, or the one you never got a chance to be with.

So what if reconnecting with your high school friends gave you a chance for a do-over? You could rekindle a love you lost, or finally pursue the love you never had the confidence to go out and experience as an adolescent.

Will I be going back to Christchurch if I get an invite to my 20-year reunion soon? I do think I'd feel like Romy and Michele in that environment - once an outcast, always an outcast - but I'm not saying no to the idea just yet.

And if I don't want to be completely honest about what my life has become? I can always pretend I invented Post-Its. It's probably the only way anyone from Christchurch will believe I can afford my Auckland mortgage.