But sadfishing is somewhat identifiable, and by its nature inauthentic.
Now some young online users have evolved sadfishing further in a likely quest for more attention. The horrifying part is that in taking sympathy-gathering to the extreme, younger users are resorting to bullying themselves online.
A Cyberbullying Research Centre study last year found almost nine per cent of teenagers in the United States have self-bullied online. A previous study found that figure closer to six per cent, suggesting this is a growing problem that we haven't noticed for some time.
Often accounts of cyber self-bullying describe how young people were somehow seeking a reaction. Often inspired by actual trolls and hate mail, cyber self-bullies will generate more insults or hateful posts about themselves from anonymous accounts. The desired result sees reassurances that the target of the messages (and thus the sender) is better than what the trolls are saying.
Disturbingly, nearly a third of these efforts were consider effective by the victim/perpetrators, according to the Cyberbullying Research Centre's research.
When people stand up for you against your trolls, it can be pretty rewarding. Just as rewarding as the love and care experienced when others dispel your own negative self-perceptions or your over critical eye.
The demographics for cyber self-bullying are also alarming. Being cyber-bullied by others makes you 12 times more like to self-bully. Arguably, self-bullies could start believing what trolls say and their attempts for attention are reflections their self-worth is dangerously low.
When considered like this, it's worth considering that anyone complaining of bullying probably needs help one way or another.
The Cyberbullying Research Centre's work also highlights concerning variables when we adapt them to New Zealand. Boys, who perhaps have less channels for attention, are 1.3 times more likely to self-bully. LGBT+ identifying teens were twice as likely to cyber self-bully.
When we couple this with New Zealand's already problematic mental health and suicide rates, can we really ignore this burgeoning new avenue for self-harm?
Making it even more complicated, boys who told researchers they self-bullied "to be funny" were significantly overrepresented compared to girls. A small study for the Massachusetts Aggression Reduction Center between 2011-2012 showed self-harm online nearly twice as likely by males (13 per cent) and females (8 per cent). The timing of this study suggests we're already late in helping our young men.
Several respondents in the 2019 study noted their digital self-harm started out as jokes at their own expense: young guys were trying to be funny for the attention.
Too many men, who have suffered depression or eventually ended their own lives, have anecdotally been described having fun-loving and larrikin outlooks in New Zealand's history of mental health difficulties. The similarities seem likely to point to a growing factor for inclusion in our mental health strategies.
All these studies, along with one from the Journal of Adolescent Health have determined cyber self-harm leads to self-harm and, in some cases, suicide.
Growing up seems to be getting harder and harder. With the online realm introducing this new difficulty into young people's lives, we have to be ready to avoid judging victim/perpetrators and offer help being reliable support networks around them.
Wherever possible, we should be reinforcing a sense of self-worth in the good times as a bulwark against low moments.
And if we're worried about someone being bullied online, whether by themselves or someone else, we have to act. Intervene, reassure, and most importantly follow-up with victims of bullying.
It's not enough to counter a barrage of taunts and hate with 140 characters. Engage regularly, and don't let instances of bullying be forgotten. In the very worst cases, psychological support is never wasted.
Where to get help:
• Lifeline: 0800 543 354 (available 24/7)
• Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) (available 24/7)
• Youth services: (06) 3555 906
• Youthline: 0800 376 633
• Kidsline: 0800 543 754 (available 24/7)
• Whatsup: 0800 942 8787 (1pm to 11pm)
• The Word
• Depression helpline: 0800 111 757 (available 24/7)
• Rainbow Youth: (09) 376 4155
• CASPER Suicide Prevention
If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111.
• Women's Refuge: 0800 733 843
• Victim Support: 0800 842 846
• Lifeline: (09) 522 2999
• Family Violence Info Line: 0800 456 450
