You can imagine my dismay this year when my Halloween was effectively cancelled, owing to the endless lockdown. Without a hope of being let out of our homes until December, Aucklanders won't be dressing up like slutty nurses and X-men on October 31. There will be no cute kids trick-or-treating in Grey Lynn, no house parties in Mt Eden villas. The K Rd clubs won't host Halloween-themed underground raves. We aren't even allowed a scary movie get-together in our homes with our Best Judys this year.
Looking back to 2020, this is how all my friends in the US and UK spent last Halloween. Locked up inside their flats, unironically eating candy and watching TV. This Halloween is going to be spectacular in the Northern Hemisphere, but down under (as with many aspects of pandemic living) we're a year behind them.
Pandemic-era Halloweens (and the restrictions that come with them) weren't new in 2020. TIME magazine reports on what Halloween looked like during the 1918 Spanish Flu pandemic:
"To avoid another surge, some cities urged residents to stay home, banned Halloween parties and street 'jollifications', and urged youngsters to celebrate quietly." Police also told the youth of 1918 to keep the noise levels down, "out of consideration for the high number of people sick with flu or pneumonia who need 'rest and quiet' to get better."
Funnily enough, for Halloween a century ago people were encouraged to wear masks but not to attend masked balls, and were advised to avoid activities like blowing instruments and horns, which were recognised as "particularly dangerous" in spreading germs.
When it comes to public health advice, it's as if the ghosts of Halloweens past are coming back to haunt us.
Regardless, I've been stumped as to how to celebrate my favourite holiday from the four walls of my apartment. We Aucklanders are going to have to get creative this spooky season, aren't we?
Let's be honest, the day itself – as in October 31 – isn't the best thing about Halloween. It's the preparation that leads up to the day. Rummaging through costume shops, buying Halloween tats from The Warehouse, getting out the hot glue gun… these are the things that make this holiday fun, especially for queer people who go All Out.
This year, I say we rehash old costumes from fancy dress parties gone by, and freshen them up. Cut up an Ariana Grande costume and make it a Catwoman one. 2017's Money Heist boiler suit is a shoo-in for a 2021 Squid Game fit. Got an old black wig and a body stocking you once wore to a sports game? Two shakes and you're Kim Kardashian from this year's Met Gala. Nothing can stop you living your best camp realness.
I know what you're thinking – what's the point in spending all this time and energy to create a Halloween costume if you're not going to a party? So, wear it all day long this Sunday, October 31. Literally, I want you to wake up and put on "It" clown make-up instead of regular make-up this weekend.
Trick-or-treating is an obvious no-go this season. It would be wildly irresponsible to allow neighbours' children to knock on your door. How about a reverse trick-or-treat, where you drop a little bag of (wrapped) candy at their doorsteps, contactless, for them to enjoy? Nobody is going to say no to a free mini Crunchie. Halloween might be gay Christmas, but it's second only to real Christmas for kids, too, and we can't deny them of that.
Finally, we can't forget scary movies. I'm watching one every night this week – the 90s slashers featuring scream queens like Neve Campbell and Sarah Michelle Gellar are the best (especially because I was a queer 90s kid who wanted to be a scream queen myself). Nothing will make you feel like you're in simpler times like listening to an over-eloquent teenager being played by a 25-year-old.
Look, let's not sugar-coat this. Halloween isn't going to be as much fun this year. But no pandemic will ruin my high holiday. I might be rollicking around my apartment in a sheet with two eye holes cut in it this weekend. A crappy ghost costume won't be my best work, but it will at least create a low-key celebration, and that's all this All Hallows' Eve can be.
