Lee Suckling: What menopause means for your sex life

Once menopause does begin, sex needn't be forgotten about. The first step is rediscovering what your libido means to you. Photo / 123rf

Menopause, clinically defined as reaching a 12-month streak without monthly menstruation, changes women in lots of ways. Sex will undoubtedly be one of them.

The effect on your sex life and libido pre, during, and post-menopause is sometimes overlooked as one of the side effects. Most concerns about menopause focus on the well-known symptoms, such as hot flashes and mood changes. Yet researchers have found that between 68 and 86.5 per cent of post-menopausal women report sexual problems.

Menopause doesn't mean the death of your libido. There are many ways around it including, proactively, having more frequent sex before menopause actually begins.

That's right, according to a new study by University College London, women who engage in sexual activity once a week over the course of a decade are 28 per cent less likely to go into menopause than women who don't. This doesn't mean sex prevents menopause completely, but rather it can delay it by several years (it generally happens in a woman's late 40s or early 50s).

The scientists suggest a potential reason for non-sexually active women starting menopause sooner. "Ovulation requires a lot of energy, and it has also been shown to impair your immune function," says Megan Arnot, the lead scientist on the 10-year study.

"From an evolutionary standpoint, if a person is not sexually active it would not be beneficial to allocate energy to such a costly process." Therefore, by remaining sexually active, a woman may be sending a signal to her body: "All that energy you're putting into ovulation is still worth it!" You don't have to worry if you don't have a regular partner, either. For the purpose of this study, masturbation was also is defined as sex, alongside intercourse, oral sex, and touching or caressing.

Don't forget about sex

Once menopause does begin, sex needn't be forgotten about. The first step is rediscovering what your libido means to you. This could mean changing your sexual habits – discovering (or rediscovering) foreplay, using sex toys, and engaging in touching or other sexual activity without the goal of orgasm, for example. I must again emphasise the importance of masturbation during this time too – a lot of libido-killing during menopause comes from a woman's changing comfort level with her body and her womanhood. Taking away the pressure of a partner can be liberating in this sense.

Stress is a well-known inhibitor for your sex drive at all ages, and the stress and mood changes one experiences during menopause add additional challenges. Mind-body exercises and activity such as mindfulness, yoga, and acupuncture are beneficial in overall stress-relief and they help you reconnect with your body. This can be advantageous for some women who feel like menopause is causing them to lose parts of their femininity and sexual capability. What's more, such mind-body exercises allow you to learn to accept what's happening to your body, rather than fight it.

Medical intervention

With that said, there is no shame in seeking medical intervention during menopause for the physical side effects that occur with your sexual organs. The decreasing of estrogen that happens during menopause can cause a narrowing and shortening of the vagina (known as vaginal atrophy), which can result in a prolapsed uterus, discomfort, painful sex, and incontinence. Menopausal hormonal therapy (in the form of drugs, topical creams, patches, etc) is an effective way you and your doctor can manage this. Another form of hormone replacement therapy many women find effective (in concert with their doctor's approval) is testosterone supplements. Though scientifically contentious, anecdotally many women praise testosterone cream for reviving their menopausal sex lives.

Menopause is a journey. It forces all women to rebalance their relationships with themselves. It's not easy, but it is very possible to continue having a fulfilling and healthy sex life once you reach this seminal point in womanhood. The key thing here is ensuring you address your sex life and libido pre, during, and post-menopause. Don't just accept it's something you can no longer enjoy.