Lee Suckling: What is the gay community?

The gay community means you'll always have family, wherever you are in the world. Photo / Getty Images

Whenever anybody puts forth commentary about gay people in the media, whether it be in film, television, or here on a news website, it divides opinion. US gay writer Dan Savage is lauded and lampooned with every article or podcast he puts out into the world, just as the gay-themed HBO show Looking gets claps and criticism with every new episode.

The gay community has a broad spectrum of people - viewpoints, political standings, and personalities - and it's impossible to represent everyone. Any portrayal, however accurate (or subjectively honest) is going to upset some people. We hate seeing ourselves in a negative light.

If you read this column regularly, you'll note that I write about gay issues from time to time. Without fail, I receive feedback in both cheers and jeers when presenting my opinion (opinion, not empirical truth, being operative) on the gay community, and my views on its facets.

I've recently become aware of the need for me to define "the gay community" for those that question its prevalence (or, indeed, its existence at all).

The gay community isn't a physical community. It has nothing to do with geography. And though many who choose to think it, the gay community isn't something that happens on K Road at 1am on a Saturday. It has nothing to do with clubbing. The gay community does, however, have everything to do with sharing.

We are a community because we have a shared history, not a shared "scene" fuelled by glitter and night-time glamour. It's not something one chooses - or doesn't choose - to be a part of; rather, a sentiment of shared ideology and (relatively) communal needs, goals, and desires.

It can be likened to the progressives of the Jewish Diaspora or the Muslim Ummah: those whose communities are no longer focussed on their collective distance from their permanent homeland, but on the common "otherness" they enjoy, for better and for worse, in daily life. Except, of course, we've never had a homeland (unless you count the Castro in San Francisco!).

There are gay people out there who believe assimilation into the mainstream to be the only way for complete acceptance. With every bone its body, the gay community should reject and fight against that notion. Without loud, proud, and - importantly - critical gay voices, we won't have a community worth boasting about.

And boast we should. The gay community is a wonderful experience that homosexuals, as human beings, need and should revere. We live in a world where everyone is trying to be noticed, to be included, and to stand out. Being a part of the gay community comes with automatic pulling power: it's something that makes you a little more special.

The modern gay community must thank its predecessors for this. We must thank the leather daddies and the drag queens, for they were the ones on the streets getting harassed by police for heralding our gay rights (which have, decades later, led to equality not then thought possible). It wasn't conservative gays that changed our world. It was the "freaks" and the "flamboyants" who fought (and died) so today, in 2015, we can wear leather chaps or beige chinos and still be part of the same community.

Like the aforementioned religious diasporas, the gay community means you'll always have family, wherever you are in the world. You'll always have people who think like you, act like you, and will give you the time of day regardless of race, language and other barriers. While unfortunately in less civil countries this isn't ubiquitous, visit most cities in the Western world and, however small, that community will be there. Yes, it might be visible within a street full of nightclubs. But it'll also be present on suburban streets in broad daylight, in coffee shops and in churches, and even in online forums. No matter where you are, you'll never, ever be "the only gay in the village".

The gay community, therefore, comprises those out of sight; those who stay at home with seemingly "heteronormative" existences and don't want to be a part of an organised collective; those who just want to be left alone to live their happy lives. Even those in the closet.

They may think, "there is no gay community" but the reality is they're just not choosing to be an active part of it. And that's okay too. Active involvement is one's own prerogative. But if said bah humbuggers ever decide they want to play a visible role this community, it will always, always be here waiting for them (with open arms, and a bit of red lippy).

We need this community, moreover, because of how new we are as a community. We've only been around as a collective of goals and ideals for 50 years - at least publicly. And, unfortunately, because of the AIDS crisis, we're a community that has been robbed of our grandfathers. We owe it to them to stick together.