It's very unappealing to walk into someone's bedroom and find the bed pushed up against the wall. I know this isn't avoidable for a lot of modern city-dwellers squeezed into those shoebox apartments on Nelson Street in Auckland or Tory Street in Wellington.
If there's anything you can do so your double bed is accessible from both sides, do it. Nobody wants to finish having sex then find themselves trapped between you and two walls.
Sheets
Coloured or printed sheets are really hard to pull off. They either look childish or like they belong to an old lady. Like beige underwear, beige sheets are only practical and not sexy. Dark sheets look like you have something to hide because you don't think they need washing as frequently.
The fail-safe bedding solution that everyone will be comfortable in? Plain white sheets. Cheap, comfortable, easy to launder – especially because bodily fluids are a part of sex life.
Photographs
Many people love to position an old photo in a frame at their bedside. Perhaps it's comforting to know Grandma Mary is looking over you while you sleep, or your old dog Rufus is always in your dreams.
Photographs in the bedroom are a definite no-no, wherever they are placed. Nobody wants somebody's family member (or their friends, or – gasp – exes) watching them have sex. Keep photos in neutral zones like the kitchen fridge.
The nightstand
Space permitting, having two bedside tables makes your bedroom look inviting to a potential partner – it does away with the eternal bachelor/bachelorette look. Making sure your dual nightstand situation matches also creates harmony that's inviting for potential partners.
It's also ideal if you can have the same lamps on each table, and space for the necessary night-time amenities like a glass of water. Want to be really impressive? Put a second iPhone charger on the side of the bed you don't sleep on. Tech goes down a treat in modern romances.
Artworks and mirrors
While these are normally essential in a bedroom for both ambience and functionality, both art and mirrors can be scary to other people. Don't have any art that is too bold or provocative, or too sombre and sad. Your guest will focus on it, read into what it could mean, and have their buzz killed.
Likewise, ensure you can never see yourself in your mirror from your bed. Long-term couples might enjoy watching themselves having sex (and they have all the right to!), but if you're single and somebody new is in your room, undesirable mirror placement can be construed as perverted.
Overhead lighting and wall colour
Sex in complete darkness isn't very easy, but nobody wants to go at it in full fluorescence either. Bright, overhead lighting makes everybody look bad. It highlights all the wrong places on the body, particularly around the stomach region – which we are all sensitive about. Soft, side lighting is everybody's friend in the bedroom: it can be easily achieved with a lamp (complete with shade, not a desk lamp) and a low wattage bulb.
While you're at it, bedroom colours should be neutral. Ask your landlord if you can paint yours a shade of white or grey if you've been saddled with something hideous like lime green. Although they say reds and oranges are the colours of passion, I think they make your room look like a murder house. Steer clear and go light and breezy… this isn't American Horror Story: Grey Lynn.
Mess
I won't lie: when I am getting ready to go out on a Saturday night, I leave my bedroom in a state. I change outfits multiple times (particularly in the final 10 minutes whilst rushing) and what I don't wear ends up on the bed, chair, or floor until the next day. Shoes might be everywhere too.
It's a bad look when you arrive home – especially if you have company. Messy bedrooms are terribly undesirable. Nobody wants to have to push your gym gear aside so they can kiss you on your bed. If there's a remote chance you won't be coming home alone, take five minutes to clean up. If it's already too late and someone is already at your house, it's perfectly okay to excuse yourself for three minutes to pick everything up and throw it in the wardrobe.
