Do you feel flat during winter? Photo / Getty Images
I am SAD.
Every morning I struggle to get out of bed. I've been removing myself from my friends to stay at home alone. I've been living in an eternal discomfort whereby I'm not sure what day it is anymore, I just know I don't want it to be today.
This is Seasonal Affective Disorder at full force.
I am proactive about surviving winter. I do everything I'm supposed to do: stay warm, eat well, get some natural light.
Yet this winter is still getting me down.
It's reasonable to be sceptical of any self-diagnosed disorder. People are dramatic and can have hypochondriac world views. Yet Seasonal Affective Disorder, aka SAD, is not medically diagnosable. There are no blood tests you can get, no medical examinations to find out how bad it is.
SAD is defined as a mood disorder that comes into full force during a certain time of year; normally winter. Your energy is gone, you feel moody, you get upset easily, and you can sink into a general depression which seems like it will last forever.
As someone who has experience with mental health issues, my Achilles heel is being cold and alone, as I am right now. My husband is away and I've been left to fend winter alone, the result of which is an enduring feeling of malaise.
There's nobody to cuddle, nobody to cook for (or be cooked for), no other heartbeat to connect with. No one to warm the house up. Nobody to spoon with between those hours of 3am and 6am when the night is its coldest and most brutal.
The key symptoms of SAD include depression, social withdrawal, fatigue, and hopelessness. I've experienced all of those things in a non-linear way in recent weeks. Three degree mornings, single-digit highs and grey skies are a killer on your outlook.
Needless to say, SAD is real. I'm not like this when it is warm and bright, and my mental health is suffering.
The general idea behind SAD is that your body is lacking serotonin, the chemical that improves your mood. SAD is thought to be linked to light (or lack thereof), but the science around it isn't terribly clear.
It's not something we usually experience as children, but rather, normally develops in our twenties and can get worse with age. For some reason, four times as many women get SAD than men.
When you search online for solutions to combat SAD, the results are trite. Get outside. Find support. Expose yourself to "light therapy" via a light box that emulates the sun's effects.
If things get really bad, it's even suggested you talk to your GP about selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), the general spectrum of antidepressant drugs out there.
My personal choice for getting rid of SAD is a holiday to a warm place. Unfortunately, it's not always feasible. Not everyone can get on a quick flight to Fiji for a week in July.
So how else are we supposed to deal with this awful depressive feeling?
I'm a mindfulness advocate, and in this case I believe the best solution to be just accepting SAD. Don't wallow in it, but acknowledge how you feel, and why you feel it.
Talking about SAD is also really helpful. When people ask "how are you?" and your reply ends up focusing on just a general depression about the weather, it's a bit of a wake-up call.
When you say it out loud, it reminds you that things aren't awful in your life, everyone is in the same boat, and nobody can do anything about it except wait.
If you have SAD right now and feel a little bit of despair, just sit with it. I promise it will pass. There's no magic solution here but I can tell you one thing for certain: time heals everything. It'll be spring before we know it.
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