It's coming up ten years since the first person I was serious with cheated on me, broke my heart, and asked me to move out.
Upon discussing this relationship with later partners, friends, and my now-husband, I've come to realise how transparent my ex's behaviour was. He harnessed my naïvety and got what he wanted, until he found something (or rather, someone) else.
The most important lesson I learned from this break-up, however, was that I deserved it. I don't want to say the break-up was my fault, but rather, I had it coming.
See, my ex was a serial cheater. He'd had two major relationships before me, both of them ended when he became romantically involved with the next partner. There was a seamless transition between his ex and me – yes, I am ashamed to say I was the other man for a short period – and four years later there was a crossover between me and his next lover.
I was knowledgeable that he was not single when we met, and bought into his trick of explaining his existing relationship was already on the rocks. It's easy – as the other man or other woman – to take their word for it... and consider someone else's failing relationship someone else's problem. Naturally, when it happens to you down the track, maintaining this kind of mentality only serves you right.
