NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Herald NOW
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
  • Herald NOW
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Politics
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Herald NOW
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / Lifestyle

Ladette culture root of addiction to sex

By Rebecca Lewis
Herald on Sunday·
1 Nov, 2008 03:00 PM5 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

KEY POINTS:

A desire to "keep up with the boys" has resulted in a rise in the number of women seeking treatment for their sex addiction.

Although the taboo topic was primarily seen as a male problem, Sex Therapy New Zealand director Robyn Salisbury said women were becoming prone
to a "ladette" culture.

And while there were no firm figures available, she would not be surprised if the number seeking help had risen "quite dramatically" in recent years.

"Women today are moving beyond traditional constraints and are claiming their own sexual pleasures and power," she said.

"This is great if it doesn't detract from other areas of their lives, but often these people are never satisfied and it can become destructive."

Salisbury said the phenomenon was down to women trying to "keep up with the boys" through a series of affairs, or casual sex.

The trend matches developments overseas. In America, one therapist said that women made up almost a third of people seeking sex addiction treatment.

Salisbury said many women initially sought help for alcoholism, drug addiction or depression but a sex addiction was often uncovered as the root of other problems once their treatment began.

"Many women are unaware they may have an addiction.

"Anytime anyone portrays any kind of addictive behaviour, it is usually in order to meet another need."

Sex addictions were dangerous, she said, because they were a form of self-abuse, or abuse toward a partner.

Women often leaned toward a sex addiction when they were craving intimacy or love, while men tended to be attracted to the notion of casual sex "because they can".

Overseas research has shown sex and love are scientifically addictive.

When comparing the brain scans of sex and cocaine addicts, researchers found activity in identical areas.

MAKING YOUR LIFE UNHEALTHY
Sex isn't the only addiction keeping therapists busy. Tanorexics must have regular applications of fake tan, or sessions on a sunbed.

Others find it hard to ignore social networking websites and one woman doesn't feel "a real person" if she misses an episode of her favourite reality TV show.

"Addictions mess up your life," says Walter Logeman, a Christchurch-based psychotherapist who specialises in internet addictions.

"A [certain kind of] behaviour is likely to be an addiction if you repeat it even though it makes your life unhealthy and eventually un-manageable."

Cyber addictions
Louise Smith (not her real name) is so addicted to checking her Facebook page for updates on her friends she calls it "face-stalking".

Even though they're a phone call away, Smith can't help but scroll through photos and status updates _ a one-line sentence relaying what your friends are doing _ "countless" times a day.

Wellington nanny Bryony says her Facebook addiction _ up to five hours a day _ has made her "a bit antisocial" and led to her losing friends.

"I didn't think it was a big deal until I decided I'd rather be checking what people are up to and sending messages than going out or doing sociable things." Logeman says becoming addicted to the internet is becoming more common because it's about forming relationships through a new medium.

Is this reality?
Helen (not her real name) will readily admit to being addicted to television _ but not any show.

The Aucklander, who "absolutely has to" watch reality series on a regular basis to feel content, says her life revolves around programmes such as America's Next Top Model and Survivor.

"Some days I'd rather avoid my own life and deal with the ones I watch on TV." Logeman says this type of activity which could be perceived as an addiction is a prime example of escapism.

Tanorexia
Tanorexics are obsessed with constantly having a dark tan. "My friend is a total tanorexic," says Cheryl, a former tanning consultant.

"She uses a sunbed probably three times a week and when she's not doing that she uses spray-on tans. She looks orange _ it's disgusting, but I can't tell her she looks crap." An American study found tanorexics may have an addiction to the ultra-violet rays in tanning beds, which result in a high similar to a drug addiction.

Peter Adams, a professor specialising in addictive behaviour at Auckland University, says an addiction to tanning is only a problem if it is impacting on relationships or employment.

Water bottles
"I carry my litre bottle with me just about everywhere," says Sara Livingstone, a 19-year-old university student.

"Most people I know do. I don't think I could go to class without it. I'd get dehydrated and feel a bit naked without it." Saying you're addicted to water is like saying you're addicted to chocolate _ you don't need it to get by, you enjoy it, says Adams.

"People say `I'm addicted' about a lot of things, but I would not see it as a problem unless it is affecting someone's health or relationships. It's not like they have a loss of control over it like someone with a drug or alcohol addiction might do."

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Save

    Share this article

Latest from Lifestyle

Premium
Lifestyle

How an innocent search on social media drew me into the disturbing world of extreme dieting

Lifestyle

'So raw and blistered': Parents claim Huggies nappies cause rashes, company denies fault

Premium
Lifestyle

‘Women get gaslit a lot’: 10 menopause myths the experts can’t stand


Sponsored

Sponsored: Why heat pumps make winter cheaper

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from Lifestyle

Premium
Premium
How an innocent search on social media drew me into the disturbing world of extreme dieting
Lifestyle

How an innocent search on social media drew me into the disturbing world of extreme dieting

Telegraph: oung women are being exposed to dangerous diet and exercise advice.

16 Jul 06:00 AM
'So raw and blistered': Parents claim Huggies nappies cause rashes, company denies fault
Lifestyle

'So raw and blistered': Parents claim Huggies nappies cause rashes, company denies fault

16 Jul 12:01 AM
Premium
Premium
‘Women get gaslit a lot’: 10 menopause myths the experts can’t stand
Lifestyle

‘Women get gaslit a lot’: 10 menopause myths the experts can’t stand

16 Jul 12:00 AM


Sponsored: Why heat pumps make winter cheaper
Sponsored

Sponsored: Why heat pumps make winter cheaper

01 Jul 04:58 PM
NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP