Kyle MacDonald: I need to go to AA for my drinking, but I’m struggling with the religious aspect of it

We don’t have to believe in any form of God to get plenty of help and support from AA. Photo / Getty

Q I’ve been struggling with my drinking for a few years, and after getting to the point where I couldn’t control it, I went to AA but I didn’t realise there was a religious aspect. I grew up in a church, and let’s just say didn’t have a great time with it. No one told me AA was going to be like church. Do I have to do the God bit to go to AA?

A Over the years, I’ve recommended many people use Alcoholics Anonymous - or any of the other 12-step programmes, such as Narcotics Anonymous (NA).

I’ve also had this question from some of them, and it can be slightly off-putting if religion isn’t your thing.

But it’s okay, it doesn’t have to be to still get plenty of help and support from AA.

Firstly, let me just say I am not a recovered addict, although I have attended the odd meeting over the years.

However, a little history can be helpful to start. AA was formed in 1935, in the United States. Its core ideas and its central text are more or less unaltered from those early years, and also form the core of all of the other 12-step programmes.

They’re unchanged because they work. Or at the risk of being picky, they work for those they work for.

Because there isn’t a lot of research on AA’s effectiveness, but I can tell you from the people I’ve worked with over the years, if you commit and follow the philosophies and teachings - it works.

Now, the God bit.

In 1935 in the US it was more or less taken for granted that everyone was Christian. So that is the language that is used to talk about experiences of what we might now describe as spirituality, connection to the wider universe, deeper meaning or simply “awe”.

They also use the slightly less religious version of a “higher power.”

This range of experiences is actually vital for recovery, and more broadly mental health generally.

One of the outcomes of addiction for some is getting very lost in themselves, and unable to see their wider connections, their relative smallness in the wider scheme of the universe and the wonder of that.

Handing over, or prayer, is a psychological process that generates acceptance and a stepping back from battling that which we can’t change.

We don’t have to believe in any form of God to do that.

So generally the advice is, if you feel uncomfortable with the word “God”, replace the word God with whatever you feel is a higher power for you.

And if you’re not sure what that is for you, then it’s worth taking some time to reflect and challenge yourself to come up with something.

The somewhat recent research on the emotional experience of “awe” is useful because it makes very clear what these experiences are, and how to generate more of them.

Simply put, the emotion of awe is the experience when we feel like our minds have been blown, our jaws drop open and as a result, we feel less focused on our individual selves and more connected to others.

You might experience that in nature, watching a sunset, or with people you love deeply. You might feel it in a church, or a temple, or through the simple act of giving and supporting others. If you surf, you might find it on a wave. If you hike you might find it on a mountainside. If you live in a city, you might find it in a museum, or an art gallery.

But wherever you find it, there’s your higher power.