Kidman admits she still loves Tom

Nicole Kidman

Nicole Kidman, 38, says her divorce from Tom Cruise five years ago was a "major shock" - and she still loves him.

"He was huge; still is. To me, he was just Tom, but to everybody else, he is huge. But he was lovely to me. And I loved him. I still love him," she tells Ladies Home Journal.

"I always knew the rug was going to be taken out from underneath me at some stage," Kidman says.

"I knew I was going to get hit with something. But I think a divorce, and the demise of what your family is, is a little death in itself."