I couldn’t help but wonder what Sarah Jessica Parker would be like in real life. As the star of the cultural phenomenon Sex and the City Parker became the face of women’s sexual liberation and gal pal friendship in the late 90s and early 2000s through her character, sex columnist
Karl Puschmann meets Sarah Jessica Parker: ‘She spoke her truth and left people squirming. You have to respect that’
Sarah Jessica Parker has created an iconic television character in Carrie Bradshaw.
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But before my musings could reach any sort of conclusion my Zoom screen flickered to life And Just Like That, Sarah Jessica Parker appeared. She was sitting in a light and breezy room with a stacked bookshelf behind her and wearing a chic yet simple, sleeveless black top augmented with a gold brooch on the lefthand strap, a slim gold necklace, her famous wavy blonde hair framing her famous face. She neither bubbled nor breathed fire. Instead, she smiled a big smile and said, “Hello”.
The first journalist was called and she asked how Carrie’s fashion sense had evolved over the two series.
“I think the evolution is kind of apparent given our last season. It’s all there in front of everybody’s eyes,” she said, which sounded a little dismissive, although she did go on to explain her position. “What I don’t love doing is analysing and sharing my feelings about evolution and story because I feel like it dictates to the audience.”
The next journalist’s question was, bravely, also about fashion.
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“I don’t have favourite outfits,” she said matter-of-factly, before elaborating. “I’ve worn thousands of outfits. I couldn’t possibly pick a favourite shoe. Or a favourite meal, a favourite book, a favourite child. I just… I can’t and it’s not interesting. Like, who cares what my favourite outfit is?”
This, most certainly was dismissive and no amount of elaboration could hide it. As she continued to speak I couldn’t help but wonder how tiresome and trying it must be to eternally field questions about a topic people presume you are obsessed with. If reality is perception but what people perceive you as doesn’t really exist, then does this mean that you don’t really exist either?
Thankfully, her next question was not about fashion. Instead, it was about getting old.
“I only ponder this question when interviewers ask me about age. It’s such a phenomenon to be constantly asked about ageing. It’s so peculiar to me because I just don’t see it with men. I just… it’s so weird,” she said, which I considered an incredibly graceful answer considering how borderline offensive the question was.
As always, she elaborated. Only this time her continued comments didn’t soften the blow, they instead reinforced them.
“Like, I’m just living my life. I’ve got three kids, I’m working. I’m, you know, running around. How do I feel about ageing? I don’t have a doctorate on it. I haven’t written a thesis. I’m just living a life. I would pose the same question to you, now. How do you feel about ageing? It’s the inevitable. What are you gonna do? How do I feel about it? What can I possibly… what? What? What consideration of it is productive? It’s such a confounding question to me because I don’t think about it. I carry on.”
She wasn’t finished but out of respect for the dead I’ll move on to the next question she was asked. Which, astoundingly, was about fashion. Specifically, what she thought about Scandinavian fashion.
“Um, I don’t,” she said, sounding almost puzzled.
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Thankfully, things picked up after that. She was asked if she felt the responsibility of representing the complexity of women, and she said she did not.
“Carrie’s just one person. She cannot possibly speak for the complexities of women. But I think what you’re saying is that women are complex, and they are deserving of complicated portrayals. I’m grateful that Carrie is complicated. I’m grateful that she is complex. I’m grateful that that means that sometimes people don’t care for the choices she makes. Complicated people are compelling.”
Next, she was asked what she believed the legacy of SatC was, to which she said this was not for her to decide.
“I’m just bad at legacy stuff. It feels very peculiar for me to articulate legacy. It just feels unsightly,” she replied. “I haven’t participated in that conversation.”
But, again, she took the time to explain why.
“I’m certainly aware that we’ve been around for 25 years and that we got to be part of - and continue to be - part of a show that has had an impact on people and people have very strong feelings about. From the beginning it was different. It was a different way of women having conversations, a different use of language and a way of illustrating women’s relationships. It was radically different in some ways than what commercial television had allowed, or even cinema. But I will leave it to everybody else to tell us. Often it’s an academic exercise for people; what is the legacy of the show? I feel while we’re in the midst of still doing it, it’s not productive for me to be thinking about that.”
Then her publicist said, “Coming over to Karl in New Zealand,” And Just Like That, Sarah Jessica Parker looked at me, smiled and said, “Hello, Karl,”.
It’s one thing to be muted and rolling my eyes at the stumbling or ill-advised questions of my professional peers and silently chortling at Parker’s polite and engaging dismemberment of them. But it’s quite another to have her looking at you expectantly as she waits for your question. I couldn’t help but wonder what flashed through the other journalist’s heads at this moment. That peculiar shot of nervous adrenaline when all eyes are on you, all ears are on what you’re about to ask and you have the complete and undivided attention of one of the world’s most famous women. It’s a moment that connected all of the otherwise disconnected people who had beamed into this virtual room from all over the world. In its own ardly strange way it was kind of beautiful.
“Kia ora, hello,” I said. And then I asked what she had personally learnt about love and relationships through playing a character who had analysed every aspect of them for so long.
“I’ve learned about Carrie and her ideas of friendship and what comes from that kind of devotion to friendships and how to sustain them,” she answered. “It’s unusual to have that kind of time for friendships. The thing that’s been most impressionable to me is how those friendships have sustained themselves and how they’ve worked to sustain them. That’s something that honestly has inspired me about my own friendships. It’s made me want to be as good a friend as Carrie has been - even when she falls short.”
She paused for a fleeting moment as she considered the rest of what she wanted to say.
“Everything else has been a lesson for Carrie really. Not for me, Because the lessons she learned and the way she lives her life aren’t really applicable to mine. My life has always been so different. We’ve made entirely different choices. I had a very different single life. I was single, certainly, but it wasn’t as colourful,” she laughs. “I married sooner than Carrie. I had children, that wasn’t a choice she made, and I’ve devoted myself to different things. So I think the lessons really have been for her and not for me, if that makes sense?”
It did make sense. She is not Carrie Bradshaw. Sarah Jessica Parker doesn’t know about Scandinavian fashion designers or have a favourite outfit of all the frequently outrageous get-ups her character wore. Nor is she preoccupied with the passing of time or the cultural impact and legacy of a series that has left us believing that all of that stuff is important to her.
Twenty minutes earlier I’d wondered what she was like in real life. Now I knew. I did find it interesting how she had met my expectations, yet also confounded them. There were flashes of Carrie, although maybe that’s just because her voice is so identifiable when she starts musing, and there were flashes of the mean girl portrayed by the gossip mongers, although maybe that’s just because everyone should know never to ask a woman about her age.
She clearly takes her job seriously, blocking out all the noise that could have a detrimental impact on her work. She’s sincere, genuinely and thoughtfully engaging with mundane questions and explaining her thoughts in a friendly and light manner. Yes, she could have played the game by claiming some random frock was her all-time favourite before rattling off some nonsense about how getting old is the best thing that’s ever happened to her, but she chose not to. She spoke her truth and left people squirming. You have to respect that.
And through it all, she was personable and professional and very polite.
As the interview progressed I realised that many of the questions Parker was being asked weren’t actually for her at all. They were for Carrie. A triumph as an actor, sure, but presumably, fairly annoying as a person. I began to wonder if Parker’s unfailingly polite dismissals were a way of separating herself from her character and ensuring her own identity was recognised. After all, she could have won everybody over with stock answers and a smile.
All the world may be a stage but we generally get to choose who we play. If it’s true, that in life we’re all just playing roles, then I couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to have society thrust an inescapable role on to you. I would’ve quite liked to have asked Sarah Jessica Parker about this but she was answering a question about how the show’s success made her feel (“It’s an exquisite feeling”) before thanking everyone for their time and saying it was nice to meet us all.
And Just Like That, she was gone.
And Just Like That… season two is available on Neon and Sky Go with a double episode premiere. It is also airing on Sky’s SoHo channel Sundays from 2 July, 9.30pm. Season one is available now on Neon and Sky Go.
