KEY POINTS:
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Bloody Valentine's Day," said Emma.
"Bloody Valentine's Day," I said back. We clinked champagne flutes.
"Bloody red roses," said Emma.
"What red roses?" I said back.
"My point exactly," she said.
Lest you think that I'm hopelessly unromantic, or worse, no gentleman, let me advise that Emma and I are not, never have been, in that supposedly blessed estate which is the whole point of Valentine's Day. Well, not with each other.
Sorry if that dints a myth built up through our casual encounters in this column over the past year or two.
We are in that even more blessed state known as friends. Indeed, several female acquaintances have earnestly assured me over the same time that being friends is far more important.
We're at Kabuki, the teppanyaki restaurant in the recently made-over Stamford Plaza. Unlike other top-of-the-wozzer downtown hotels, the Langham and the Hilton, the Stamford Plaza has not gone for old-fashioned or contemporary posh nosh and a chef who's a legend in his own dinnertime.
In truth, the Stamford Plaza has never had a great restaurant on the premises, save the early years. Did stonking afternoon teas in the lobby when Mother was in town, though.
Now it has two lobby restaurants - Knights on Albert, with a stiffish menu, and Kabuki. With a name like that you'd expect a touch of theatre, and the promotional material plays on it, modestly suggesting that "Elegant and theatrical, Kabuki Teppanyaki Restaurant is the best of its type in Auckland and indeed New Zealand".
No small boast, though not dissimilar to the one they make about the Kabuki Teppanyaki Restaurant in the Stamford Plaza in Brisbane.
For the uninitiated, Kabuki makes it easy with set menus (lunches $28-$45, dinners $45-$93). That assumes there's anyone left in Auckland who hasn't been initiated into Japanese food.
It's easy ordering when someone's done the hard work, and pretty good value: four courses with appetiser, salad, miso, veges and rice. Makes things easier in the kitchen - even when the kitchen is one of the two huge tables for 24 at which the food is cooked.
Emma chose Yuri, the vegetarian menu which features organic tofu steak. Tofu steak is a contradiction in terms. It proves, emphatically, that vegan is not a sensible nutritional option. If it was, its devotees wouldn't feel the need to hide their tendency by pretending their dishes are real food.
Within minutes we were picking among lots, and lots, and even more little plates of different tastes and treasures. Chicken starters and dipping sauces; sharp, palate-cleansing red cabbage salad; warm and murky miso soup; glistening vegetables barbecued just past crunchy; fried rice, the egg chopped and fired blink-and-you'll-miss-it into the grain on the hot-plate.
They cook and serve your food with plenty of flash, dash, crash and panache. Don't try it at home, the neighbours will have the fire brigade around before you can say "Ofuku Masamune" (Lucky Lady, the sake Emma sipped, and we're not going to make another cheap joke here).
Behind it, they're not doing too much that you won't have found at Auckland's earlier arrivals, though they get big ups for better-quality ingredients, especially the vegetables.
For my credit card, our best Japanese restaurant is Ariake, admittedly not a fair comparison because it has a far wider menu, while Taiko is an interesting and recommended new migrant to Kingsland.
"BLOODY Valentine's Day," said Emma. "Bloody chocolates."
"What chocolates?" I said, for we were finishing with fresh rockmelon and citrus.
"You could have bought me chocolates," she said. "Nothing to say that a friend can't buy a friend chocolates. Especially for bloody Valentine's Day."
Sometimes it's hard being a guy.
Address: Stamford Plaza, Albert StPhone: (09) 912-3020
Web: www.stamford.com.au
Open: Lunch Tue-Fri, dinner Tue-Sat
Cuisine: Teppanyaki
From the menu: Grilled organic tofu steak with ponzu vinegar sauce $18; Grilled lamb cutlet with butter, sake and soy sauce $30; Grilled crayfish with wasabi aioli $69
Vegetarian: Naturally
Wine: Yes; we preferred sake
