John Tucker must die

Herald rating: * *

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and when the scorned are vacuous, pretty, popularity-obsessed teen queens in an American high school, then boys, watch out.

Jesse Metcalfe, the Desperate Housewives gardener with the six-pack, plays the part of John Tucker, the captain of the basketball team, and the most popular guy at Forest Hills High School.

Life is sweet for Tucker, until the three young women he's been simultaneously dating discover his cheating ways.

If you are wondering how Tucker manages to get away with dating them all at once, it's pretty simple. He picks three girls from different cliques: the sluttish vegan activist (Bush), the ambitious Harvard-bound student (Kebbel), and the head cheerleader (Ashanti) and tells them all that daddy doesn't let him date during basketball season so they have to keep their relationship a secret.

Of course, dating the most popular guy in school is one secret these girls were never going to keep, so when the truth spills they decide to break Tucker's heart the way he's broken theirs - and this involves the narrator, Kate (Snow).

Kate's a nice, invisible kind of girl with a mum (McCarthy) who likes to move cities. When Kate's mum offers advice to the trio, they drag the new girl into their plot. This involves turning Kate into the kind of girl that Tucker will fall in love with, only to have her dump him.

If only these girls really did try to kill John Tucker then maybe we'd have a film on our hands, but John Tucker Must Die is no Heathers, or 10 Things I Hate About You, and it doesn't come close to the smartly written Mean Girls.

Instead, it's a predictable, cute teen flick without any real attitude or humour, and feels a lot longer than its short 87 minutes.

None of the characters stand out - other than for seeming too old to be at high school.

Kate is just too nice and brings nothing new to the "nice girl turns nasty to be popular" storyline, and Tucker's ex-girlfriends are, basically, unhinged.

Their obsession with Tucker makes you almost feel sorry for them - and sorry for him too, even if he is a dirty two-timing rat.

Cast: Jenny McCarthy, Jesse Metcalfe, Sophia Bush, Brittany Snow, Ashanti, Arielle Kebbel
Director: Betty Thomas
Running Time: 87 mins
Rating:PG, sexual references
Screening:Village, Hoyts and Berkeley
Verdict: You've seen it all before, and better