"I valued them as much, if not more, than my actual family.
"I was safe with them. No one was sick or dying — or working or leaving me alone.
"I felt important and I was loved by them and their families."
Allison was one of the friends who Vanessa saved during that time.
She held Vanessa's hand as she sobbed at her mum's funeral.
Although they were barely nine years old, Vanessa never forgot Allison's unwavering support in the days after her mum passed away.
They remained close friends until Vanessa moved away to boarding school in her early teens.
"Years later, we rekindled our friendship in San Diego when we were adults," Vanessa said.
"She was like a sister to me … someone I loved.
"We had a lot of fun those years. Lots of shenanigans and laughter.
"But in all honesty, she wasn't a great friend at all. She was a wolf in sheep clothing."
But that realisation was still many years away.
In the meantime, Vanessa befriended Caity the year after she left high school.
At first, the pair had fun — they had exactly the same sense of humour and spent hours laughing together.
But as the years went by, Vanessa found it harder to spend time with Caity.
"She was so self-centred and had little respect for not only me — but for literally everyone in her life," Vanessa said.
"She was jealous of everything, and mean as the devil when things didn't go her way.
"But my heart was so devoted to our years of friendship that I often overlooked it, making excuses for her."
Vanessa also made similar excuses for Liza, who she befriended around the same time as Caity.
Liza was the closest thing Vanessa ever had to an actual sister.
Together they went through hell and back –with Liza supporting Vanessa through thick and thin.
"However, she was also toxic," Vanessa said.
"She sucked the life out of me over and over, and I was a different person when I was with her.
"I smoked and drank heavily, got into so many fights with her and with other people.
"I became an anxiety-ridden mess."
Even though her friendships with Allison, Caity and Liza were strained, Vanessa knew she wanted them by her side on her wedding day.
These women had been part of her life for more than 20 years — she couldn't imagine getting married without them there.
"They were my family, but that 'family' decided to dump me," Vanessa said.
"Liza gave me a huge hug at the end of the night, then grabbed me by the shoulders.
"With tears in her eyes, she told me, 'This will probably be the last time we'll ever see each other'.
"I looked at her puzzled and said, 'Don't be so dramatic. I'll see you tomorrow at the house'.
"Little did I know, these words were going to be our last. And to think she said that to me at my wedding of all days."
Vanessa's heart shattered as she realised each of these three women had decided to cut her out of their lives.
She desperately tried to contact them, to understand what had gone wrong.
"As it turns out, they ended their relationship with me on my wedding day because of their jealousy and envy of our family," Vanessa said.
"It was a four-day wedding affair that was beautiful and thoughtful, and it was very overwhelming for them all.
"They couldn't bear to see me happy, to see me live out my dreams.
"So, they decided to go out with a bang and turn the day I was supposed to remember as a joyous one into an utterly painful one.
"It was the most hurtful way you could ever end a relationship."
For years, Vanessa mourned the loss of these women from her life.
But eventually she had a life-changing revelation — she had allowed them to manipulate her for years because she thought that's what she deserved from her friends.
"I lacked self-esteem," she said.
"I would never be the same person I was when I knew them and, honestly, they did me a huge favour.
"That experience taught me some very important life lessons, as well as eventually opening up my heart to new friendships.
"Ending those friendships was hard but it was NOT the end of the world. Because in the end, I have all I need: my family."
