(Anyone who has ever been given the green whistle while in absolute agony will know just how glorious it really is.)
I was told that the green whistle was only given off-site, and as I was in the hospital I would be assessed first. So after plenty of prodding and poking from a nurse, a doctor was called to provide me with some serious meds.
As I withered around in pain, looking an absolute sight, he met me with some very kind eyes, had a brief assessment and decided, yep, this called for morphine. As the nurse set me up, the doctor held my hand, offered nothing but kind words, and tried to keep me distracted from the pain.
As I slowly relaxed into a pain-free glow he stayed with me the whole time as we waited for my blood test results to come back. It was in this incredibly vulnerable moment that I realised what I was feeling was something fairly similar to love.
You see, this man held the traits every girl secretly (or not so secretly) craves: compassion, dedication and kindness.
A few hours later I left the hospital with a prescription, a sick note and a whopping big crush.
As I told the girls about it over dinner a few nights later, we all agreed that when a bloke helps you in a vulnerable moment, it's a pretty big turn-on.
Who needs oysters as an aphrodisiac? Just offer us help with our taxes when we're freaked out during the month of July, or offer to fix our car when we are stuck on the side of the road. Seriously, is there anything sexier than a bloke coming to your rescue?
Now listen, I get it, it's 2021 and YES of course we can do all these things ourselves, but every now and then you find yourself in a tough situation and well β¦ I'm just saying, it's human nature to suddenly find this spring to action pretty darn alluring.
I'm sure it goes back to the caveman days when a man would go and gather a wildebeest for dinner, or some such (sexy) rubbish.
It made me recall a work trip I went on a few years ago to New Zealand. I was working for a travel show and we went on a white water rafting adventure in Rotorua.
It was all great fun, until I popped off my life jacket and the buckle swung up, hit me in the face and chipped my tooth. Not a small chip either, a whopping big one. I looked like I belonged on Tiger King.
Our tour guide flung into action. Seeing my discomfort at being surrounded by a film crew while looking like Cousin Itt, he drove me back to the hotel, offered to take me to the dentist and ordered soft food for dinner so I didn't have to manoeuvre a steak with scary chompers. His kindness took me by surprise, and despite him not being my normal type, I found myself looking at him in a new light. A warm, slightly va va voom light.
So I'm telling you ladies, we gotta change the way we look at blokes. No more sooking over blokes who don't text us back or leave us constantly thinking "WTF?" Let's look out for the bloke that helps someone lift a heavy item into their car, or picks up your flying tampon next time you stack it at the supermarket and your handbag items go everywhere.
As someone who has always been the "fixer" as opposed to the one that needs fixing, I took away from this scary hospital moment a new outlook on the "good guy". Turns out he can be actually pretty darn sexy.
