Kinda Sorta Dating podcast host Jana Hocking. Photo / Instagram
This time of year can put a shiver up the spine of most singletons.
Yes, it’s Christmas time, and oopsy daisy you forgot to bag yourself a partner in time for Chrissy lunch with the family.
You’re armouring up for the “Why haven’t you got yourself a partner yet?” question from annoying relatives with good hearts, and the idea of waking up by yourself instead of to a boisterous house full of children and a sexy husband can seem pretty darn cr*p.
Except … it’s not.
You see, we focus so much on the traditional side of Christmas, that we forget that this time of year as a singleton is actually ridiculously fun.
Don’t believe me? Let me point out a few reasons why you can thank the lord he didn’t throw your soulmate into your direct path this year.
1. Sweet sweet freedom
Unlike your partnered up couples who are arguing about who will be designated driver, and trying to figure out whose family gets Christmas, and whose gets Boxing Day, you get the glorious gift of freedom to pick and choose to do whatever the heck you want for Christmas.
Perhaps it’s with family, perhaps it’s with friends, or you know what … maybe you want to treat yourself to a white Christmas overseas.
Get on that plane girlfriend. You’re as free as a bird.
2. You can enjoy a few vinos guilt free!
While your extended family are chasing after children, tidying up discarded wrapping paper, putting bandaids on little Johnny after he stacked it on his new bike, you’re cracking open the Champagne and sitting back enjoying the chaos unfolding before you.
Then you get to go home to a nice quiet house. Maybe run a hot bath, sneak in another piece of Christmas cake before bed and enjoy a heavenly uninterrupted eight hours of sleep.
3. Your bank account baby!
Unlike your friends who are putting money aside each year to fill their kids’ stockings, and saving for that big extravagant lunch, you’re enjoying your income with weekly manicures and fun nights out.
You’re also, most likely, just expected to bring a pavlova or a kilo of prawns to lunch as opposed to catering for a family of 12. Save those sweet pennies and treat yourself to a nice present. You deserve it after a year of dud dates.
4. No arguments
Christmas can bring out the worst in all of us. It’s not all smooches under the mistletoe. Instead of trying to simmer down the burning flames of rage directed at your partner because he bought you a vacuum cleaner instead of the diamond earrings you’ve been hinting at for the last month, you can stay blissed out knowing that while others are screaming at each other on the way to Mum’s house, you’re already on to your third mimosa. Cheers.
5. Shock factor
Let’s face it, you stand out, you’re not like the married up couples in the family. Oh no, you can bring stories to Christmas lunch that are far more interesting than discussions about little Johnny’s piano recital.
Why not shock Grandma with some epic dating stories, or tell the whole table about the time you accidentally ended up on a midnight train to Byron after one too many Chardonnays.
And for extra excitement, why not throw in a few witty comebacks for the inevitable “Why are you still single” question. Here are some you are welcome to borrow:
– Because I’m not quite sure if this rash is contagious
– Why are you still married?
– I’ve devoted my life to cats
– I’m not taking questions at this time, thank you.
– Why have one flavour when you can try them all
– All my boyfriends are already married
So sure, you might make the mistake of looking at Instagram while laying on the couch with a food coma, but don’t buy into the happy couples shots on Christmas Day. You just know there’s a fight brewing. And remember, this could very well be your last singles Christmas, so make the most of it.
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