KEY POINTS:
'Mum you can't park here, it's only for parents with babies," said my youngest daughter in her patient voice. The one she uses to explain that I have my dress on inside out and I might be a little drunk.
"I don't care, I'm making up for lost privilege," I replied testily.
"Lost what?"
"The lost privilege of breeding. Grab the shopping bags and lock your door."
My local Foodtown has branded the 10 car parks closest to the door exclusively for use by parents with babies. It's a fantastic idea especially for those working mums who dash in at 5.30 with overtired children recently retrieved from daycare and attempt to buy something resembling dinner.
I've been there, I know how they feel. Just as you finish one job you start another, and it won't end until dinner is cooked, babies are bathed and safely asleep.
But in my day we had to park with the normal people, because in the 80s breeding was not a privilege. We didn't even have those cute seats in the trolleys and had to fit the carseat in the trolley along with the Treasures and packets of mince.
Recently I've considered suing the Government for that loss of privilege. I'd like to claim the 14 weeks' paid parental leave I never got for my four babies. The childcare subsidy which wasn't available for my children. The Working for Families tax subsidy which was non existent.
I reckon it cost me $50,000 to have a career and give birth to four children so where's the back pay? Surely my babies are just as valid as today's?
In 1986 when I had my first child only 52,823 of us were breeding. And you didn't get much help especially if you insisted on being a working mum. Like many young women in the 80s I made the tragic mistake of believing I could combine the feminist dream of working full time and having children. I did it, but at a price thanks to Rogernomics, Ruthanasia and a Labour government more interested in free markets than free children.
And it was lonely. At 24 I was regarded as a bit eccentric having a baby, I had no friends who were pregnant, no one at work was pregnant. There were no exceptions made for pregnancy in the newsroom. You still worked the late shift and if you went over your 10 days sick leave allowance because your other baby was in hospital with pneumonia your pay was docked.
It's hard to believe employers could be so harsh when today they are falling over themselves to let mothers work part time, from home, up a tree if they want to, all at full pay because there just aren't enough workers.
So, is it any wonder we are experiencing a baby boom not seen since 1963? Just over 64,000 babies were born last year to parents who planned their pregnancies knowing they will receive help to add their precious bundle to our population.
According to a shocked media incapable of sensible analysis, the baby boom can be explained by celebrities. Apparently women are more than happy to put themselves through nine months of strenuous baby growing, alcohol avoiding and food limiting because they think they will look like Angelina Jolie and Heidi Klum. I don't think so, Kiwi women aren't that thick. They know Angelina and Heidi have trainers, dietitians, beauty therapists and nannies ensuring they look fantastic during and two days after their pregnancy.
But what pregnant celebrities have done is make it okay to walk around with your gorgeous naked belly exposing itself in a bikini or above low-waist jeans. Gone are the days when we were reduced to hiding our bumps under an elasticised patch sewn into the front of our jeans.
There has never been a better time to have a baby, and it's almost worth having another just to make the most of all those privileges, but my daughter thinks that's a bit tragic and Geena Davis. She has pointed out, however, that when our grandchild arrives in a few months I can legally, and with some relief to her, park in the Foodtown carparks. What a privilege.
