Wendyl Nissen: Humour Mum's the word

Uproar and outrage were unleashed last week when Australian writer Jenny Dillon declared working mothers had never had it so good and working women have been perpetuating a hoax, pretending that running a household was still as hard as it was 40 years ago.

I was called to comment on the radio. I disagreed with Dillon, pointing out that as a woman born into the free-thinking 60s, I was told that girls could do anything and ended up doing everything.

Running a household full of kids and working full-time is enormously difficult.

But since joining in the flurry of indignation, I've had a chance to compare my step into working motherhood in my early 20s, not 40 but 24 years ago, to the situation now:

• Today there is readily available government-subsidised childcare for those who need it. In 1986 there were few childcare centres and those that existed had long waiting lists. Those centres and nannies were expensive, there were no subsidies and some working mothers spent almost their entire salaries on childcare.

• You can have 14 weeks' paid maternity leave. In 1986 we had no paid leave but our jobs would be held open for a year. Many of us had no choice but to go back to work.

• If you really want to go back to work, possibly because you are the higher earner in your relationship, your partner can now get 14 weeks' paid paternity leave to look after your child. In 1986 it didn't matter - one earner in the household was out of work.

• If you want to work part-time, most employers will happily consider job-sharing arrangements or work hard to allow part-time employment to happen for you. In 1986, part-time work was not an option in an office with only full-time positions. And if you used up your 10 days' sick leave, your pay was docked for every day you took off to look after your sick child, even if he was in hospital with pneumonia.

• You can feel quite justified in interrupting meetings, being late, leaving early, not turning up at all if your child needs you. "Sorry, I'm a working mum," is the only excuse you need. In 1986 you never told anyone you had children while you were at work because your bosses (mostly men) were just waiting for any excuse to say you were not performing and were distracted by your children.

• You can decline to work certain shifts now because you have children who need you home at night. In 1986 you did the night shift at the newspaper just like everyone else. If you didn't like it you could leave. Even solo mothers had to do these shifts.

• Society actually acknowledges that you do two jobs, the first when you wake up in the morning and the second when you turn up at work. You can blame your loss of memory, failure to meet a deadline, inability to function, on lack of sleep.

"My child had me up all night," is all you need to say. In 1986, being exhausted in a meeting because you've been up all night with a sick child would get you a reprimand and a reminder that you were being paid to do a job, not to recover from child-minding.

• You get to change meeting times and disrupt schedules at the last minute so that you can be home in time for sport practice or to pick up your child. In 1986 you turned up, stayed late, did the hours and the meetings that were scheduled for fear you would be fired or put on a warning.

• This may seem ridiculous now, but when you drive to a supermarket, the spaces closest to the door are reserved for mothers with children. In 1986 we parked wherever we could, extricated our child from their car seat and carried them across the car park in the rain.

Never had it so good? I think so. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

www.wendylsgreengoddess.co.nz