Various: The Osbourne Family Album

By RUSSELL BAILLIE

(Herald rating: * * * )

You've seen the per cent&* programme. Now buy the @$#*! album. Or that seems to be the theory behind this mildly amusing (the in-between uncensored speaking bits) but musically uncohesive spin-off album.

Still, you do get to hear the show's theme tune — Pat Boone's kitsch lounge cover of Black Sabbath's Crazy Train — in its entirety with a reprise of the original at the end. As well, there's Kelly Osbourne's fuzzpop karaoke of Madonna's Papa Don't Preach (which isn't bad), as well as a ponderously gruesome track from Dillusion — a band which young Jack Osbourne, record company scout, discovered.

But mainly it's big on songs that mean something to Ozzy, the sentimental old fool — the Kinks' proto-metal You Really Got Me, the Cars' Drive, John Lennon's Imagine, Eric Clapton's Wonderful Tonight and his own serenade to Sharon, Mama, I'm Coming Home. Like the family in the show itself, amusingly dysfunctional.

Label: Epic