TV Eye: The age of nonsense

The perfect age for being a telly critic is ... let's just say it's no surprise that someone of that calling should come from "sceptical, media-savvy" Generation X. Not convinced? I'm sure the "generational expert" (the exact nature of the qualification was not explained) on new local doco series The Perfect Age would back me up. The expert sees everything in terms of generational stereotypes. And why not? As we learned in Sunday night's first instalment of the Petra Bagust-fronted series, the perfect age for anything is any age.

Yep, this is a show dedicated to confirming what we already know and blind to any evidence or other factors which might contradict its preconceived conclusions. Did you know, for example, that people get more conservative as they age?

That does not stop it being disguised as social inquiry: there are tests and experiments a la a Robert Winston study on human behaviour.

People are divided into generations, there's the young Millennials who have "self-confidence on steroids". Before the Gen Xers come the Baby Boomers, and before them the lot dubbed the "Silent Generation" - tell that to a Winston Peters rally or the show's sauciest participant, the sixty-something lady in scarlet headgear who let us in on her generation's secret dress code: "Red hat, no knickers".

One of the tests involved people of different ages driving a slalom course. It found that a 60-year-old woman drives cautiously because the Silent Generation aren't risk takers. The baby-boomer drove recklessly because his generation believe the world revolves around them.

Do accident statistics bear this out? No, that would be far too investigative for this show. And perhaps there are other factors in the Boomer's life and personality that affect his driving more than the decade in which he was born?

The Gen-Xer who scored best on the slalom track might have done so not because of her age, but because as she said, "I'm a Westie from way back".

Yes, it's all about as scientific as horoscopes. Which reminds me, did you know that the perfect star sign for being a TV critic is Virgo and I will brook no evidence to the contrary.

Meanwhile, it's concerning to see the generation too young to be featured in the above show are being so molly-coddled. All those stern warnings before The O.C. on Saturday nights about the show not being suitable for younger viewers could be depriving a generation of some vital education.

The glitzy teen soap, which reaches its season finale this Saturday, has been a font of valuable life lessons. For example, if we have learned one thing from Julie and Marissa Cooper's temporary reversal of fortune, it is how to live in a trailer park and still look like a million dollars.

We've learned that a true gold-digger is never too down to pass up the chance to pick up a wealthy plastic surgeon. And how to burn down dad's office by smoking a joint and leaving a burning roach on his desk.

We've learned that you don't have to be intelligent to get into an Ivy League university if you can stun the recruitment panel with your expertise in the highly academic fields of fashion and makeup. And the best way to solve life's problems is to hold a charity bash. The show's hiatus will leave a gap in the schedules. And a poor, as yet unnamed generation, at a loose end without their glam trash TV.