It's probably the hardest decision separated parents face - who gets the kids on Christmas morning?
"It is easy to place a lot of significance on December 25th thanks to the pressure we have for the perfect Christmas, and it may feel like you need to fight hard to have the big day with the kids," Gilderthorp said.
"But, if you lose the battle, you can make the magic happen twice. Every child loves the idea of two Christmases. You could even give your special day a new name which they can get excited about each year."
It's tempting to wallow surrounded by Christmas treats, but this is a no-no.
"Overindulging can leave us bloated, depressed and ashamed.
"You don't deserve to feel like that! Think about how you can spend time being the person you want to be. This could mean volunteering, exercising, visiting an elderly relative or rekindling an old project."
Making new Christmas traditions with your kids is a great way to make it memorable. Photo / 123rf
The kids will know if you're wallowing in self-pity and they'll worry, she said.
"If they speak to you on the phone and you are having a good day, they will feel free to enjoy their own day."
The most important thing is to be present with your kids, said Gilderthorp.
"Mindfulness helps us come back into the moment so we can engage with them, help them through the tough times and enjoy the happy moments."
Looking after yourself first and foremost will help you deal with any issues that come up - whether that's demands from your ex or the kids testing the boundaries.
"Check in with your body and mind, notice what you are thinking and feeling, and then focus your attention on your breathing for 10 breaths," she said.
It's crucial to make sure you're getting the support you need over the holidays - whether that's in person or online, like a Facebook parents' group.
The final key to surviving Christmas is to keep up the holiday traditions.
"Obviously, there will be big changes, but if there are traditions you can salvage then do," Gilderthorp said.
