Hint: never allow a 4-year-old to walk unaided down icy stairs while wearing ski boots. A moment's inattention on my part and superb overconfidence on his leads to the inevitable crash, howls and tangle of other people's skis and my child.
Possibly, we were all feeling cocky after two unexpectedly idyllic family days on the slopes of Mt Hutt. Minor stair crashes aside, the sky has been relentlessly blue, the snow suitably deep with a base of 1.9m and satisfying fluffy.
No one cries because they are cold or wet. Neither boy loses steam and begs to go home at 10am. In fact, the 7-year-old is the last one standing on the learners' slopes, begging for one more downhill run as the lifts close for the day.
It is a surprise to learn that children and snow can mix with such unmitigated success.
Another children's winter wonderland experience had bordered on ghastly. A few years ago, my Canadian husband harboured romantic visions of a white Christmas in his homeland, reliving his childhood by sledding, ice-skating and frolicking in the snow with his son.
Instead, we endured a marathon of -30 C days that stole our breath, kept us largely confined to quarters and gave the toddler pneumonia accompanied by febrile convulsions. Holiday snapshots show a miserable, frozen-looking ball barely visible beneath multiple layers of fleece and polypropylene.
So I am gobsmacked to discover that, by lunchtime on day one, the same child can make his way up and down the bunny slope unaided.
Master 7 is not known for his fabulous co-ordination yet he cruises past in his new (on sale) jacket, (borrowed) shades and (rented) racy red boots, looking like something from a French alpine resort miniature brat pack. Or, God forbid, a future ski team member.
We may as well dump our earnings into a bottomless pit now.
What's more, his younger brother has the basics sussed 45 minutes into the first lesson. While they fail to appreciate the rugged majesty of the Southern Alps or views over the Canterbury plains, it seems the two Bay of Plenty beach boys have no problem adapting to an alpine environment.
It takes me a little longer. It is 11.55am before I answer the call of those white slopes, having fetched ski passes and filled out forms, tried several sizes of ski boots on unaccustomed small feet, ferried newly clumsy children to lessons and childcare facilities, and paused to have poorly constructed snowballs thrown at my back.
Snacks are doled out and clothing fastened. In parenting terms, this feels something like those first few outings with a newborn, where three hours and numerous false starts are required to leave the house.
By the second day we are old hands and the pre-ski process is faster. We even manage to create a lopsided snowman, with raisin eyes, a dried apricot nose and a double pompom hat.
Despite our muddling inexperience, even we can tell this ski area is ideal for families. Far smaller than big-name North American ski resorts, far less crowded than our North Island fields, we can park mere metres from the main lodge entrance and ticket office.
Younger children can spend an hour or a day in a childcare centre that offers ski lessons and toboggan rides and everything from painting and stories to snow volcanoes made with baking soda and food colouring. When I check on the 4-year-old, he is immersed in a snow-castle building project.
All facilities, from chairlifts to picnic tables and ski school, are so close together we can watch a child's lesson while riding a lift to the top run. Which we do, with laugh-out-loud delight.
Then I barrel gracelessly down the intermediate slopes, painfully aware this may be the last time I can out-ski my children.
Thinking ahead makes day on the hill a breeze
After her experience Sue Hoffart suggests:
* Drive to the hill rather than relying on bus services. Stow extra gear in the vehicle and leave early if children are tired.
* Take the right gear: waterproof outer layers, extra socks, hats to keep heat in, extra layers of clothing.
* Don't forget sunscreen and good glasses (with a band to keep them on the head) or goggles.
* Carry a backpack for unwanted clothing, drinks and snacks for active bodies. Pack a lunch to avoid queues.
* Enrol children in lessons. While some parents have patience, superior teaching skills and an ability to ski backwards, mere mortals ought to leave it to the professionals.
* Consider creche facilities for younger children. Parents gain ski time, and children get a break from the action.
* Invest in neon. Our 4-year-old's trousers had a fluorescent strip that acted like a beacon against the snowy backdrop.
* Designate a meeting place and provide cellphone numbers and accommodation contact details in case anyone gets lost. Mt Hutt will provide pagers for nervous parents.
* Look for a ski hill with a magic carpet. A little like a flat surfaced escalator, these modern miracles transport children more safely than the old rope tows.
* Ditch ski poles for learners so they can concentrate on what their feet are doing.
Mt Hutt operations team leader Angela Simonett adds some advice:
* Get to the hill early, so children are fresh and there is no need to rush.
* Allow three days, with one or two lessons a day, to gain maximum benefit.
* Encourage younger children to slide about and enjoy the snow, rather than focusing too hard on lessons. Children who are pushed too hard will lose interest.
* The ideal age to start and progress quickly is probably 7 or 8.
* Most importantly, do not distract children during their lessons. If you want to watch them, hide behind something.
Checklist
Mt Hutt
A 90-minute drive from Christchurch, the Mt Hutt skifield enjoys one of the longest ski seasons in Australia and New Zealand and caters for everyone from beginners to double-black diamond show-offs.
Accommodation
Mt Hutt does not have accommodation but the town of Methven is a 40-minute drive from the top of the hill. At Beluga Lodge, the self-contained four-bedroom Minke Cottage is perfect for families, with a full kitchen, lovely grounds and a stack of children's videos. See link below.
Further Information
For more about Mt Hutt see link below.
It's all downhill from here
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