Sam Fisher: Poor chance of catching up with high tech world

Technology must seem daunting to older people. Photo / Supplied

Talking to some elderly rellies recently, it struck me how quickly the world has turned upside down in the past 20 years and how left behind they feel - and how left behind I'll soon feel.

It used to be so straight forward, a no-brainer. The car broke, so you'd drag out the tool box, lift the hood and peer underneath. When I say "you" I mean you, not me.

The typewriter started typing invisible letters so you'd install a new ribbon and bingo, it was like new. The hand beater not working? Run it under hot water, remove the offending block and hey presto - whipped cream. The phone not ringing? Call the Post Office and they'll replace it.

But oh no, not now. Fixing the essentials in life is far more complex. The ailing car now requires a degree in computer engineering to fix. There are more chips in my car than on the dips-and-nibbles platter at my last party.

The computer freezes, and so begins a frantic round of phone calls to persuade someone (anyone) with computing skills to come and show you how to plug in the big box thingy.

The electric beater isn't going? Chuck it in the bin and head for Briscoes. The phone ... well that's just tough. If you ever get through to someone in Manila, all they will do is make you repeat your problem three times so their call centre can have a laugh.

We've entered a twilight zone in which gadgets are no longer going to give up their secrets with a bit of fiddling or prodding with a screwdriver - more likely it'll be a hammer that you'll use to make it fit into the recycle bin.

So the solution is to embrace change. I have this great mobile phone that is so smart I can't work a lot of its functions. Soon I'll be sending it to meetings instead of me. And chances are it will say more intelligent things and win greater respect than I ever have.

Here are a few lessons I texted to my rellies. They couldn't work out how to read the text, but you might find them useful:

Forget about starting small, being cautious and making slow but steady progress. Instead, jump in and go for it. Get a Twitter account, a Facebook page and a blog. Link these all to your cell phone so that whenever you send a text it updates all of them.

But just remember, your mum might see something she's not supposed to when she opens her Facebook account. Make sure you use comments such as "when u home" and "in da Gold Coast" to blend in.

Don't be fooled into thinking gadgets will save time. A new computer will take days, or weeks, to get up and running. Kitchen appliances take longer to install and clean than old-fashioned manual gadgets. Time-saving devices will waste years of your life. Get used to it.

While it's technically possible to repair appliances, it usually costs four times the price of buying a new one. When it breaks, it's dead. Buy a hand beater instead.

That Guy is ill this week.