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It's bucketing down outside, as our three intrepid tasters arrive at Auckland's first water deli, and Viva's first water tasting.
After umbrellas are folded away, the thirsty foursome huddle around a table laden with glasses and bottles, mouths at the ready.
The foodies gathered at Mark Smith and Jo Grofski's newly opened Aquadeli in Mt Eden are Viva's restaurant critic Ewan McDonald, Cibo co-owner Jeremy Turner and Viva's wine editor Joelle Thomson. Viva editor Fiona Hawtin, a confirmed boutique water drinker, will offer comments from the sideline.
We're not holding a hard-core blind tasting - all eight sparkling and still bottles are prominently displayed. Our tasters eagerly await the chance to debate the merits of water sourced from all parts of the globe. Just like a wine tasting, there is a spittoon and plenty of glasses.
It's easy to ridicule a water tasting. Remember comedians Penn and Teller's Bullshit! TV show where they presented diners in an upmarket restaurant with a variety of apparently fancy bottled water brands? One hapless diner, who was told he was drinking water from the depths of Mt Fuji, was caught on camera saying the water felt glacial. The comedians later gleefully revealed the water came from a New York garden hose. And the 1992 film The Player, had slimy movie executive Tim Robbins ordering different brands of bottled water, often sending them back as you might a corked wine. Back then, boutique water was the gold standard for pretentiousness. In these health-conscious times, mineral water is an acceptable accessory. Water shops are common in Europe, and the in-crowd flock to trendy water bars like Colette in Paris.
In New Zealand, Mark Smith says, we're finally acknowledging the benefits of mineral water.
"New Zealanders have long had a love affair with tap water, and in many parts of the country this remains so - for Aucklanders, we even pay for it. But consumers are becoming more discerning and demanding. We've got a loyal customer base - and we've been particularly surprised at the interest from young people and the numbers of parents buying water as a substitute for traditional carbonated sugar drinks."
Grant Hall, CEO of Corporate Waters, represents bottled water suppliers on the New Zealand Juice and Beverage Association (NZJBA). He says there are around 126 types of bottled water on our shelves, with sparkling, mineral, distilled, purified and flavoured waters all battling for a share of the market.
According to NZJBA figures, the market increased by 13.7 per cent in 2006, up from 10 per cent in 2005. In 2004, Kiwis consumed 70 million litres of water, with a retail value of $240 million. By contrast, Australians drank 252 million litres of the stuff last year.
But what about all this plastic clogging our landfill? Hall heads the Environmental Beverage Action Group, and wants to introduce eco-friendly bottles made from plant starch. But it's a hard road to convince the Government and battle the industry heavyweights.
But back to the water tasting in Mt Eden. Aquadeli is chock-full of water labels, drinking accessories and even a bottled sample of iceberg water. Our tasters are eyeing up the samples on display, preparing for the challenge ahead. There's a lot to consider.
As Smith explains: the waters are quite different, ranging from a still water, relatively absent of minerals and with a neutral pH, to waters very high in mineral content and natural carbonation.
They all have different levels of pH, and various degrees of minerals like calcium, magnesium, sulphates, bicarbonate, silica, chlorine, nitrate and potassium. There's even a rating for virginality. And you thought it was plain old water.
A water tasting is a tricky business. Where taste and smell are either subtle or absent, mouthfeel is the most important characteristic to consider. Mouthfeel accounts for roughly 75 per cent of a water's flavour.
Michael Mascha, author of Fine Waters: A Connoisseur's Guide to the World's Most Distinctive Bottled Waters says water tasting is an acquired skill.
"Water's total absence of smell and of visual variety makes one think all bottled waters are uniform, without any distinguishing characteristics. But as I started drinking different waters during a single meal, clear differences emerged. Suddenly terms like 'focused and short', 'broad and lingering', 'substantial', or 'light' seemed appropriate to describe the waters."
Mascha warns that not all bottled water is equal. "Marketing campaigns for commodity bottled waters try to make us think water must be 'pure' to be good. Without going into all the complicated distillation process, there's no such thing as pure water."
A clink of glasses and the tasting gets under way.
First up was Surgiva, which flows from the huge glaciers that surround Nambrone Valley in Italy. Smith says Surgiva is possibly as close to distilled water as any mineral water can be. I think it's his clever way of easing us into the tasting, and it turns out to be the wallflower of the water selection.
Smith: "Lacking carbonation, very low in minerals, a soft water with a neutral pH. It's perfect match with fresh seafood."
Turner: "Good idea but I'm not sure Aucklanders are ready for matching water and food."
McDonald: "Odourless, tasteless (in a good way, of course). If we're turning water into wine here, this is the dry white you get from the supermarket in a cask for $3.95."
We move on to the Kiwi sparkler 420 Volcanic and as you'd expect it has some kick.
Turner: "It feels quite solid."
Hawtin: "Hmm."
Turner: "I know this is carbonated but it's country miles apart from the Surgiva... it's quite fascinating. But then I don't drink sparkling."
Thomson: "Bubbles don't add taste to water but mouthfeel, which is another way of saying that they make water feel more textural in the mouth."
McDonald: "Like it, but then I'm a sparkling-water boy. Now I am picking up the different tastes of water, the sweetness is kicking in like a riesling. And this is the coolest bottle of them all."
Hawtin: "Sorry, but it tastes like aspirin."
No pleasing some folks.
We move to still waters, with Fine from Japan. All our tasters give it top marks for classy presentation.
Smith: "It's modelled on traditional sake bottles."
As Smith pops the cap, we're reminded that we're drinking water formed more than 1000 years ago.
Smith: "Fine comes from an aquifer underneath Mt Fuji ... we're moving up the mineral scale with this drink."
At first taste, Thomson frowns: "Not sure if I like this."
Turner: "It's more rounded."
Thomson: "It's very earthy ... no I don't like it at all."
Turner: "Yes, this one tastes like it's from the land."
McDonald: "I'm getting the feeling of something from the bowels of a Japanese volcano in the slightly oily feel, less pleasant lingering aftertaste. I feel the same way about viognier."
We move up a gear with a little sparkling Italian number. Ferrarelle is one of the few naturally carbonated mineral waters, thanks to an active volcano - Mt Vesuvius - 64km from the spring. Apparently Hannibal quenched his thirst here before another bloody battle.
Turner: "It's a more complex mineral water; it's got more stuff going on."
Smith: "We've moved way beyond H2O."
Turner: "We sure have."
McDonald: "Because it's the house water there, it reminds me of a night at Gina's. Bubbly, outgoing, lively, good taste, very chatty and totally Italian."
Hawtin: "Oh please, Ewan."
We bounce back to another still with the round-shaped Ogo from the Netherlands. It's known as the breathing water with an oxygen concentration around 35 times higher than regular water.
McDonald: "It's very brackish."
Hawtin: "It's sissy water."
Thomson: "But it looks so cute."
Turner: "I don't like it. It leaves an aftertaste."
Thomson: "The taste is quite challenging it leaves a tannic, drying feeling in the mouth afterwards."
McDonald: "Work with me on this: Joelle and Jeremy and I, we all ride bikes. Jeremy is the Lance Armstrong of our little pelaton and he reckons these big bubbles of oxygen help you bike further and faster. Like the water, it's not in my top three, and I think Jeremy needs to get out more."
The big-hearted Gerolsteiner is our next challenge. Naturally carbonated, it's the closest thing to taking mineral supplements, and has been a famous health tonic since 1888.
Smith: "It's very high in calcium and magnesium."
McDonald: "I like this."
Turner: "This is real nice."
Smith: "Oh yes, we've moved up the bubble scale."
Hawtin: "The bubbles are lemonade-size - that's a good thing."
Turner: But does it have as much flavour as the others?
Thomson: "I like the bottle."
McDonald: "This is the real thing. This is the Chateau Margaux. This is the stonking big water. This is the one with bubbles and flavour and it hangs around on the tongue.
"You could drink this with the big red meats like steak, boar, oxtail. Hang on, I've just heard myself. Water with red meat? I'm losing the plot."
Thomson: "Absolutely agree - but not about losing the plot. This is definitely the Chateau Margaux. It tastes totally fresh, devoid of actual flavour but full of body without being too bubbly. That said, I love the bubbles."
Can Weta match these European heavyweights? The water bubbles up from a spring discovered in 1860, and is fed from an aquifer lying beneath Mt Tongariro. It's rich in silica, one of nature's natural cleansing agents - and chlorine, which assists the liver in metabolising waste. A must-have accessory for those boozy nights.
Smith: "It's a great water if you're drinking wine.
"They say if you're drinking white wine you should have still water with low mineral content and if you're drinking red wine it should have a high mineral content. The mineral content is quite high in this one."
Thomson: "It has that slightly drying effect in the same way that Ogo did ... but not as much."
McDonald: "From National Park? I have to say that our volcano tastes better than their volcano.
"Not a big fan of still waters, but this one runs deep and it's my favourite of the four."
Turner: "My mouth's quite busy trying all these waters ... when you're not used to it, you really have to concentrate. I've probably taken it for granted."
At this point, our naughty Viva editor slips in a bottle of tap water.
Turner: "Oh that's just horrible. It's sour and tastes like it's been sitting in a little old creek somewhere."
McDonald: "You can smell the difference."
Hawtin:"You lot are too cultured."
After that horror interlude our tasters finish off with a sparkler, Puit St Georges, a highly mineralised water from France.
Turner: "It's way better than tap water."
Thomson: "Lovely and fresh and ultra cool olde-worlde packaging."
McDonald: "Are you sure they've spelt that label right?"
Hawtin: "Odd name - and it's sweet."
McDonald: "But it's very French, very classic, elegant and yes, as they say, it'd cut through rich food. Probably my number three."
The tasting is over. Our group, possibly over-hyped by the rush of minerals but certainly not over the limit, get on their bikes. Joelle Thomson later reports: "Interesting tasting; had a really full tummy afterwards which means that water tastings are just as challenging as wine tastings."
And Smith's verdict: "Water is very personal - we felt each on the panel had their own preference and any overall winner was ultimately a democratic consensus. Of no surprise was the reaction to the sample of bottled tap water which immediately surrendered its identity through its intense eau de chlorine.
H2O facts
* Aquadeli's Mark Smith says people drink water for different reasons, and different body types prefer different waters. "My partner likes still waters at room temperature while I prefer chilled, carbonated waters. In the morning I often choose a water with naturally occurring fluoride. At the gym I'll always have a water high in minerals, to replace what is lost through exertion, and in the evening a suitable water to accompany wine or food."
* Still waters, because they lack carbonation, derive their flavour perception predominantly from mineral content (TDS and minerals present) and, at extreme ends of the scale of acidity or alkalinity, their pH (most waters fall in the range of 5-10). Still waters don't have the same high levels of minerals as naturally carbonated waters.
* Sparkling waters tend to be hard and carbonation also increases acidity through the equilibrium reaction of CO2 with carbonic acid. Naturally carbonated waters, such as Ferrarelle and Gerolsteiner, are highly prized because of their ability to absorb high levels of minerals, adding to flavour.
