James Patterson: 1st To Die

James Patterson, creator of the black detective with a conscience, Alex Cross, has stopped writing books and started churning them out.

Now, for some unfathomable reason, he's decided to start a new series "starring" homicide inspector Lindsay Boxer.

As the only woman in the role in San Francisco, Boxer "can be as logical as hell but also highly emotional, obviously." Obviously.

Because as the book opens Boxer is seen holding her service revolver against the side of her head. She's got a lot to be highly emotional about: a life-threatening illness, a case where a psycho is knocking off newly married couples.

Her only constant companion is a border collie. Oh, and the girls. In an absurdly unlikely - and horribly patronising - attempt to infuse this nasty slight-weight thriller with some compassion, Patterson invents the Women's Murder Club.

Boxer and the girls, a coroner, a journalist and an attorney bond over martinis, murder details and sympathy.

Men get to solve murders on their own; it takes four women to do it. As if that's not irritating enough, the dialogue is.

The characters rarely speak: they mutter, announce, blurt, exclaim and, sigh, sigh.

Hodder Moa Beckett

$34.95