KEY POINTS:
Okay, so the nose-to-tail pile-up of celebrations that is Easter is done and dusted. Hallelujah. The Joyful Flouting of the Shop Trading Hours Repeal Act 1990 by the Most Highest Order of Garden Centres - that's a done thing. The Nestle/Cadbury's Easter Sunday Glorification of Gluttony and the Holy Sugar Rush - tick that box. The Annual Easter Show Emptying of the Parental Wallet - gone-burger (and gone-hotdog and gone-punnet-of-chips and gone-candyfloss). Praise whatever higher being you so desire, personally I'm going back to the "done and dusted" bit to say my Amen when it comes to this Easter just past.
Which is why I think it is time I celebrated Me Day. Yes, this might sound kind of self-centred, in the sense that I am proposing a celebration focused on me, but there are times when it is good to enjoy yourself and I don't think we enjoy ourselves enough - but not in the way you're thinking.
As an example of what I'm talking about, I am by far the best person in our house when it comes to getting the tomato sauce from the refill can into the little plastic tomato. My skills with the can opener are unparalleled and I hardly ever get big gloopy splurges of sauce down the side of the plastic tomato. Go me!
Now, I'm sure there are many people who would look at this skill and say, "what a singularly unremarkable skill, why would anyone want to celebrate that?" And, if I were being completely honest (and humble) with myself, I would agree with them. But here and now - on Me Day - I would say, "what is wrong with celebrating that?"
I mean, it's not like we do remarkable things every day of our lives, is it? Or in our lives at all. We don't climb Everest today then swim the length of the Nile next Wednesday. Pretty much most of what we do, even if we are remarkable people, is unremarkable stuff. So why can't we celebrate that?
Going back to the tomato sauce thing, after I've carefully scraped the last of the sauce from the can into the plastic tomato, put the lid back on and put it back in the fridge, I then wash the empty can and put it in the recycle bin.
I am the King of Recycling in our house. From empty tomato sauce cans to bundling up newspapers; to putting everything out on Tuesday night (although there's always confusion on a public holiday when you're never too sure whether to put it out on the usual night or the night after so you usually put it out on the usual night because you're frightened you'll miss the pick-up day) I am The Man when it comes to recycling in our house.
This is not to say I am the only recycler in the house. My Beloved might argue that she is the Queen of Recycling ... and good on her. But she is, by definition and gender, not the King of Recycling and besides this day is called Me Day, not Her Day, so I rest my case.
Among my other skills I feel should be celebrated on Me Day are my jar and stubborn bottle-lid opening skills (manly strength); my much sought-after abilities as the fearless disposer of any and all unwanted insects that have flown into the house (the humane catching and releasing of cicadas is my specialty); and my sublime list-making talents.
I am fully aware what a show-off I must seem (and I haven't even got to my daunting super-powers as the Undisputed Provider of Breakfast in Bed on Saturday Morning), but the whole point of Me Day is being able to stand up and shout "I am the way best alphabetiser of CDs among my immediate family and I am proud" without fear of scorn and ridicule.
Me Day is egocentric, yes. In fact, it is proudly and staunchly so. In fact, by definition, you'd be pretty hard-pressed to find anything more egocentric than Me Day. What's wrong with that?
Okay, obviously if you think every day is Me Day then you're a complete tosser, but in a world that bombards us with negative messages about how we're "too this" and "not enough that" and we're going to lose all our money and our house will be worth nothing and, ultimately, our entire species is doomed to extinction because we are collectively too stupid to survive; in a world hell-bent on making us feel crap about ourselves, what is wrong with the concept of, now and then, declaring today to be a Me Day and revelling in all the things that make us feel good about ourselves.
Give yourself a hand, is all I'm saying. And not in the way you're thinking, either.
