In the women's mags: Katie's baby out of sight as she grapples shape problem

Missing! screams New Idea. Katie Holmes, if you recall, had a baby two months ago but because she hasn't paraded it before the world's paparazzi, there must be something terribly wrong.

Is it because, a) the baby is ill, b) Scientology demands babies have some peace, c) Tom is waiting for the right moment to shove Brad and Ange out of the spotlight, or d) because the couple are waiting for their wedding next month?

New Idea ponders all these theories (personally we back the Scientologists for once) and then has a tanty and demands "Show us the baby".

Britney Spears, on the other hand, is in trouble with New Idea for showing too much baby.

A photo spread which shows her happily playing with her son on a beach is described as a "brazen display of bikini-clad nonchalance" in which little nappy-clad Sean's "baby skin is exposed to harmful rays".

Where there is a villain, there must be a heroine, and Woman's Day is much kinder to Reese Witherspoon who, while on the same Malibu coastline as Britney, and also frolicking with her kids, is described as a "bikini-clad golden girl" and "hands-on mum" for doing just what Britney was doing.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are in strife over the small matter of her wanting to adopt more kids and him wanting to do a good job with the ones they already have, including the one born just a few weeks ago.

And in a tactical diversion, Jennifer Aniston, the earlier Mrs Pitt, has come out with the admission that she will "love Brad for the rest of my life".

This is nicely timed before the first face-to-face meeting the former couple will have had in a year, taking place in a couple of weeks to discuss a film project.

Now those are photos we would like to see.

The Woman's Weekly gives us the low-down on Katie Holmes' workout formula to get back her pre-baby body.

She does 200 sit-ups at a time. No wonder she looks so miserable, or is that something to do with the tight grip Tom has on her hand?

The Weekly also brings us the baby photos that the world forgot - actress Mira Sorvino has apparently given birth in a publicity vacuum.

She managed to stay under the radar thanks to the Jolie-Pitt arrival and because she has named her son Johnny which, in Hollywood, is a radical departure from the norm.