Barry Soper and baby Iggy at home in Wellington. Photo/ Mike Scott
He's schmoozed Nelson Mandela, Hillary Clinton, and Barack Obama, and held local politicians to account, but as political editor Barry Soper tells Carolyne Meng-Yee, being a father to baby Iggy is the most important job in the world.
"Mako maloo nomana wawaloooooooo..."
It's happy hour and septuagenarian Barry Soper is
speaking gibberish to his 6-month-old son and there's no alcohol involved. Glasses of wine have been replaced with bottles of breast milk and formula, with Post-it notes reminding what day and time Iggy needs feeding.
Iggy has big eyes and lashes, thighs like All Black great Pinetree Meads and a curly mohawk. He grins and looks adoringly at Soper, who babbles away to him in the secret, non-sensical language that binds them together.
"I've been speaking my own mangled language to Iggy since the day he was born. I've done it with all my kids. Babies love you copying the sounds they make. Iggy laughs his head off and probably thinks Dad is 'troppo'," Soper says.
Iggy came into the world on February 26 at 8.15am, weighing 3.58kg. "His full name is Finbar Ignatius Pieter du Plessis-Soper, which is a long handle," says Soper. He explains that Finbar is Gaelic for Barry, and the other names are in memory of Heather's maternal grandmother, who died of Covid last year.
Soper says he had a vasectomy years ago. "Science is incredible. Iggy was an IVF baby. It's hard to believe he was conceived in a Petri dish."
The older dad isn't offended when strangers mistake him for being Iggy's grandfather. "People do take a second glance and when I say I'm Iggy's dad they are apologetic. I am relatively ageless and even though I am 70 I am fit and healthy. It's quite nice being an older father. I've done so much travel, and lots of socialising, so it's not hard for me, and Iggy makes it worth it."
Soper and his wife, Heather du Plessis-Allan, Drive host on Newstalk ZB and Herald on Sunday columnist, live with their baby in a renovated two-storey villa in Wellington's Oriental Bay. It's no surprise what personality traits Iggy already shows at his tender age.
"He's curious and takes on what's going on. He has a lot of both of us in him – he's a strong character, he loves a good time, and he loves meeting people. I'm pretty good at that and so is Heather. Anyone who meets Iggy says what a happy baby he is and that's the best praise I could have, knowing he is happy," Soper says.
Soper is well-versed in family routines. The father-of-six has been on dad duty since 7am. Most mornings, du Plessis-Allan takes Iggy for a run while Soper is at the gym. Before work, du Plessis-Allan's made the bed, washed the dishes, taken out the rubbish, and labelled Iggy's milk supplies. The family has a group hug before she flies out the door.
According to Soper, his wife is "the general" of the family and he's the foot soldier who is happy to take orders from her.
"Heather does the heavy lifting; she has great organisational skills. She's done a lot of reading and has a good routine. I'm not bad at following orders. Sometimes I might take issue with things, but generally, she's right."
The day Reset visited, Soper was at Parliament, his "other home" for the past 43 years. He was part of the media scrum waiting for the expulsion of MP Gaurav Sharma, and for the anti-Government protest to start. Iggy is yet to visit his father's stomping ground, where many photos of a younger Soper are displayed on the wall. "I don't want him to be corrupted so young," Soper jokes.
Soper and du Plessis-Allan met in 2007 when she worked in the press gallery for Radio Live. She was 23, and he was 55. Soper says he fell in love with du Plessis-Allan because "she knew her mind".
Early in their relationship the couple discussed having a child of their own, but they were open to whatever happened. "It wasn't a deal-breaker as such. There were always expectations we would like to have a child. We've been married for 13 years and together for 15, and Heather is not getting any younger, so biologically it was the right time. Also, my own grown-up kids knew it was inevitable and they've accepted Iggy with love. They think he's really cute."
Soper's five adult children are from two previous marriages. Kate, 40, is the eldest, followed by Hannah, Alice and Henry. The youngest of the "adult kids" is Hugh, 26. Iggy has two 4-year-old nieces and a 1-year-old nephew whom he's yet to meet.
Soper says he is too busy to join coffee groups. He's more focused on Iggy maintaining his routine which is simply: Sleep. Eat. Repeat. Both father and son take afternoon naps to help Iggy to sleep throughout the night.
"I don't really sleep, but I can do some reading while he is resting on me. I'm listening to stuff on my AirPods, so it's a working sleep. It can be full-on, and you can be awfully tired but it's rewarding. To have him is everything to me."
Soper is thrilled he's witnessed some of Iggy's milestones, which he missed out on with his older children. Iggy has got two teeth and is expecting a third. He likes to roll over and wants to crawl.
The thing Soper hates most of all is when Iggy cries. "It tears my heart and I hate it, but you've got to be selfless. It's not this little chap's fault he can't articulate what's going on. A baby is a baby and you've got to treat it with love regardless. They are a gift, and you have to treasure that gift, I certainly do."
Soper is content being a stay-at-home dad for some of the week while his award-winning wife pursues her radio career. Next year, Soper and his family are moving to Auckland. He has recently changed his job from Newstalk ZB political editor, based in Wellington, to that of a senior political correspondent.
He refutes leaving the role to spend more time with Iggy although he says the family is much more important than any "superficial thing, like politics".
"The fact I am giving up the job as a political editor has nothing to do with Iggy being born, if we were staying in Wellington I would continue working out of Parliament. And it's got nothing to do with me getting older and feeling though I have to spend more time with him. I am lucky I can work part time and look after Iggy I couldn't do that when I was a younger dad. Back then I was trying to make money; trying to get ahead and build a career. I am a much better dad now. Now the roles are reversed, females have more opportunities.
"Am I jealous, is that what you were going to ask? No, I'm not. I think it's great, I've followed Heather's career from the start, and I've watched her becoming a better journalist, there's nothing I love more. I've done it all and I've loved it."
Today is Father's Day and Soper says it's not a day he regards differently from any other. He hopes Alice, Henry and Hugh, who live in Wellington, will drop by.
"Iggy will be unaware it's Father's Day but I would imagine Heather will have something planned and it will involve food, being social, and hopefully cracking a nice bottle of Champagne, which I'll look forward to. As a father, no one day is more special than the other."
The 70-year-old journalist has few regrets but is contrite about his two failed marriages. "Things happen in your life you don't anticipate. I think in terms of my first marriage I got married far too young, I was 20. So, there are things you do regret but life is about living, getting over your regrets, and looking forward to the future."
Soper hopes he will be around to see Iggy grow up and settle down. "I'll be 94 when Iggy is 24, so hopefully I'll see him graduate and marry. It's an old cliche but you're as old as you feel. I think as long as you can keep your health and keep the right mindset, I don't think older parents should worry about the things that might not happen."
Although he might be a bit "long in the tooth" for more babies, he and du Plessis-Allan aren't ruling out the possibility of more children. "They are like pets really, loyal and needy but more intelligent and I love seeing them develop."
What if they are twins? "Oh my god. Thank goodness there are no twins in our families."
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