KEY POINTS:
There are three words that mean so much to people working in the hospitality industry - please and thank you.
It seems so simple, but it is a sad fact that, for some customers, those basic words can be just too difficult to articulate. True - New Zealand is far from the worst place to be a hospitality worker. For the most part, customers here are polite and respectful.
This probably stems from the fact many Kiwis - from right across the social spectrum - have had experience working in a cafe or restaurant at some point in their lives. It is commendable that in New Zealand, even the very rich insist their offspring do some part-time work, often somewhere in the service industry, while they are at school or university.
The experience of being at the receiving end of customers' rude and obnoxious behaviour provides a unique perspective. Chances are, if you've had the experience of serving an ill-mannered buffoon, you're less likely to become one yourself in the future.
In some other parts of the world - poorer countries in particular - it is usually only those people from the bottom rungs of the social ladder who do this kind of work.
This can probably be put down to the fact that the remuneration is so miserable only the most desperate will consider it. It's no surprise that in those countries it is often socially acceptable to click fingers and clap to gain the attention of wait staff, and workers are generally treated with little respect.
But while New Zealand is a relatively agreeable place to be a waiter, or barista, there remains a sizeable minority of customers who fail to give workers the respect they deserve.
These are the patrons who walk up to the counter in a cafe and bark their order, before leaving without saying please or thank you. They will then proceed to completely ignore the person whose job it is to bring their order to their table.
I can vouch from experience that in such situations the worker can feel as if he or she is invisible - like a robot that doesn't require any words of thanks or even a simple nod. As low level as these experiences are, they do occur with quite stunning regularity and can really wear workers down.
During the 10 years I spent working in cafes, I had my fair share of nasty customers. One in particular stands out.
It occurred about nine years ago in a cafe in downtown Auckland. A group of young Australian men (somebody said they were actors), who were staying in the nearby Sebel Hotel, entered the cafe and ordered a round of coffees.
When I, the barista, took their coffees to their table, they informed me that the coffee was "not good enough" and demanded I make them again. As I walked away from their table, they sniggered at me.
When I returned with another round of coffees, they repeated what they had said on my first trip to their table, sending me back in the direction of the espresso machine, while sniggering some more.
From memory, I believe the process was repeated on my third visit to their table. Eventually, my manager sent me off on a break and took it upon herself to deal with those arrogant Australians. Their nasal accents saying "not good enough" still ring in my ears - it was a more humiliating experience than you can imagine.
As I left for my impromptu break, I fantasised about assaulting the Australians with a chair, Jake-the-Mus-style. Or throwing a couple of cups of scalding coffee over them.
I guess I could have simply told them what I thought of their behaviour, but alas I didn't say or do anything - as this is the expected behaviour of service staff in such situations.
Workers are expected to remain voiceless and powerless in the face of humiliation. This can have, over the years, a profoundly negative effect on the worker's psyche.
So remember to give hospitality workers the respect and politeness they deserve. Keep in mind that they have the power to adulterate your food or drink in any which way they please and you'll probably never have any idea that they did it.
And if somebody you are dining with is rude to the staff, tell them such behaviour isn't acceptable.
I remember reading a great line somewhere in the past and I think it went something like this: "The person who is nice to you, but horrible to the waiter, isn't really a nice person at all."
* Christopher Adams of Auckland spent a decade in the hospitality industry.
