Mitchell Van Homrigh ordered every burger on the menu, and ranked them. Photo / news.com.au
Mitchell Van Homrigh ordered every burger on the menu, and ranked them. Photo / news.com.au
What's your staple McDonald's burger? A Big Mac, McChicken or maybe even a Filet O'Fish? Reporter Mitchell Van Homrigh put his body on the line.
Picture this, you're 8 years old. You're on your way home from your first swimming competition at school after almost drowning at the beach a few weeks earlier.
You placed third in the 50m freestyle in a four-person race. Mum says: "We're getting Macca's for dinner. What do you want?"
Fast forward 10 years, it's 4am and you're in the clubs in Brisbane's Fortitude Valley. No girls liked your pathetic attempts to dance to The Strokes' Reptilia at Lambda.
You stumble into Maccas, wincing a VCR (vodka, coke, raspberry liquor) smile at the cashier and he asks: "What do you want?"
Mitchell Van Homrigh drinking a VCR in 2011. His friends will not be happy he posted this photo. Photo / news.com.au
These are just two of the moments in my life that I've gazed over the backlit McDonald's menu trying to think which burger is best.
Luckily, thanks to the corporate credit card, I have now been able to judge these burgers without the impact of alcohol or trauma from nearly drowning.
Two guesses which came in last. Yes, you're right. It is the Filet O'Fish. Honestly, it had a weird fishy taste (no surprises).
I was taken back to my childhood when I would stay at my next door neighbour's place where I would occasionally be coerced into eating them during religious holidays. They haven't aged well. It's got a good name though, the 'O'Fish' is good gear.
McChicken
Bland, blergh and something I could make. I have copped a bit of feedback with this review. The McChicken stans in my messages tried to play up the mayo-iceberg lettuce combo – which is typically good - but in this case lacked flavour.
Grand Angus
Well, GRAND seems a bit excessive here (Ronald please don't sue me for defamation, I really do like lots of your burgers). The burger makes up part of Maccas' fancy menu but I found this one more bad than boujee.
The Grand Angus CAN be good - but my one wasn't.
It had a slightly thicker patty, a little bit of salad and some nice sauce combos. However, this did not hit the spot and tasted more like Ronald's version of a whopper.
The best of the best
Cheeseburger
A staple, a perfect burger. Fantastic size, not too big. You can easily eat one or two of these suckers with no problems. The soft, sweet bun. Lovely little meat patty, delicately plopped on the bun smothered in a plastic cheese that struggles to fully melt.
The cheeseburger is a fantastic size - not too big.
To top things off, weirdly small amounts of onion, a sweet little pickle and tomato sauce. Who is she, we love her.
Much like the cheeseburger, this burger is simplicity at its best. Great sized buns, a fried chicken pattie (it's really a large nugget) smothered in cheese and covered with life-changing mayonnaise.
Big Mac
That's it. The big boy. The one they are known for. The iconic burger containing crushed cow meat, lettuce, pickles, onion and that secret sauce (which is pretty much just mayonnaise, sweet pickle relish, yellow mustard, and ketchup with vinegar, garlic powder, onion powder, and paprika).
The Big Mac is the one McDonald's is known for - and with good reason.
I have loved these ever since watching Steve Waugh eat one, either in some sort of advertising campaign or footage following a test match. I also may have dreamt this moment.
The iconic burger still comes through, so thank you Ronald for your service.
