I refused my sister's dying wish to adopt her 3 young kids, now she's furious at me

"My sister has three kids; a newborn, a 2-year-old and a 6-year-old. She asked me to take them once she dies." Photo / Getty

A woman has opened up about why she refused to follow through on her dying sister's wish of adopting her three children.

*Kate had drifted away from her older sister of six years after she left home at age 18.

But one day the 25-year-old receive a phone call out of the blue from her 31-year-old sister.

She had catastrophic news after being diagnosed with brainstem glioma, which is large and untreatable due to its location.

On average, people with brainstem glioma have approximately 3 to 6 years to live.

But Kate's sister was suffering badly. It meant her sister asked her a rather confronting question.

"I'm not sure how long she has, but most likely it will shorten her life span by a significant amount - apparently she's already experiencing some bad symptoms," Kate explained online.

"My sister has three kids; a newborn, a 2-year-old and a 6-year-old. She asked me to take them once she dies."

It was a request that Kate was not expecting.

"My sister has three kids; a newborn, a 2-year-old and a 6-year-old. She asked me to take them once she dies." Photo / Getty

'I refuse to adopt my sister's kids when she dies'

Faced with just months to live, Kate's sister was also dealt the news that Kate wouldn't adopt her children.

Kate opened up about the reasons behind her decision.

She and her husband both have cystic fibrosis and no kids of their own.

"Her ex-husband wants nothing to do with the kids since she had cheated on him for years with many men and they aren't his ... she doesn't know who the dad is."

She also pointed out that she suffers from severe OCD.

"Not the 'I like my house clean' OCD, but where I need to shut a door several times until it's completely shut, or noises like dripping water drive me insane, imagine having a newborn when sound can drive you mentally insane? It's debilitating."

With her own health issues and relationship status, Kate told her sister she couldn't adopt her children when she passes.

She wrote out a list of why.

"Since we are both child-free it would be unfair to ask my husband to make this kind of sacrifice. We both agreed to no kids when we got married; to change something like that generally means a divorce.

"I am atheist, my sister wants me to raise them religious and to "know God" and take them to church.

"I live in a different country, where English is not the primary language. I can't teach a 6-year-old a new language when they don't know English well.

"A six-year age gap meant we didn't really grow up together; and the memories I do have she was always awful to me, like cynical. And after she moved out at 18 we haven't talked once besides at my parents' funerals. I don't even know her kids let alone her."

Kate's sister did not take the decision well, hitting out at her reasoning behind the stance.

"She cried and called me awful but it's my life, and ultimately I get to be selfish with it, a child isn't an 18-year commitment; it's lifelong, and one I have decided not to take," she said.

"She cheated with multiple different men and lost her husband; I don't think it's my job to swoop in and save her from consequences of her own actions. I don't feel like I owe her anything."

Kate says she has offered to pay for DNA tests to help find the fathers of her sister's children but claims she doesn't want to.

Now Kate has received heat online.

"Friends of hers whom I've never met have been reaching out to me and calling me at all hours to leave nasty voicemails. Saying I need to step up as a sister, but I just feel like she's trying to use me as her ticket out to dying and not feeling guilty."

*Kate's name has been changed.