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Home / Lifestyle

How to tell if your partner is cheating on you

NZ Herald
8 Mar, 2017 07:58 AM3 mins to read

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Reddit users spill the details of their past love life errors. Photo / Getty

Reddit users spill the details of their past love life errors. Photo / Getty

If you've ever been cheated on you'll know how completely and utterly devastating it is. Going from feeling happy in a relationship to discovering your partner obviously wasn't often leads to questioning yourself and what must be wrong with you. And regretting how you didn't see it coming.

In an effort to save you from heartbreak, a Reddit user has posed a question asking those who have suffered at the hands of a cheater to share what they believe are warning signs that someone else is involved. So how can you tell if your partner is cheating on you?

As reported by The Sun, one of the most interesting responses was that cheaters tend to accuse their partners of infidelity themselves to hide their own unfaithfulness.

One user noted that "every relationship I had that ended because I found out they were cheating had one common denominator: They frequently accused me of cheating."

Cheaters can understand how their partners could be doing the same. One user admitted: "I used to be a chronic cheater, and you definitely become paranoid about the one you're cheating on doing the same as you. It's easy to not get caught and you start worrying that they could just as easily do it back to you."

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A common indicator that someone is cheating is if they accuse you of cheating. Photo / Getty
A common indicator that someone is cheating is if they accuse you of cheating. Photo / Getty

This may seem confusing yet this is a psychological defense mechanism, where people project their socially unacceptable thoughts and feelings on to another. It may be one of the easiest signs to spot since this happens at a subconscious level.

Another common clue was that Redditors noted their partners frequently had long periods of time that could not be accounted for. When asked they were either extremely vague and changed the subject as a distraction or overcompensated by going into long, detailed stories about something completely mundane.

As this user's partner did: "They tell you a detailed story, in which they progressively fill in the details because it is a lie. Sad!"

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Usually the simplest explanation is the right one.

Other behaviours that may serve as warning signs were showering at strange times of day, particularly if they had no real reason to, such as going to the gym, and taking late night phone calls from "work".

Does your partner receive late night phone calls from "work"? Photo / Getty
Does your partner receive late night phone calls from "work"? Photo / Getty

Unsaved phone numbers are another classic cheating trick - something this Reddit user found out the hard way: "My high school boyfriend never saved phone numbers into his phone. He claimed he was just 'too lazy'. Turns out the unsaved numbers belonged to his many, many side girls."

One woman found out that she was the "other" woman when she received an invitation to her partner's wedding to another woman. She said: "I was the other woman and I was in second place."

Another pretty strong indicator is when your partner begins talking about another person constantly and even seems to put them before you.

While there are some key signals that a partner may be cheating, sometimes it may not be that easy to tell.

The questions in your head should not revolve around you and what you did wrong. They messed up and this should be a sign that you need to reconsider your relationship. A good relationship needs to be based on trust.

And remember, if it doesn't work out we hope you can find solace in Beyonce's lyrics and the fact that he or she is not "irreplaceable".

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