How to talk to your children about drugs

Peer pressure can often be a factor in drug taking among young people. Photo / 123RF

There are multiple reasons why a young person may start experimenting and the consequences can be scary. Here's what to say as a parent.

There's no way to predict which children will become addicted to drugs, risk factors include a genetic predisposition to become addicted if exposed to particular drugs; certain personality characteristics, for example extreme impulsivity; chronic physical or mental distress; early exposure to illicit drugs, particularly if abused by role models; and a lack of healthy alternative sources of satisfaction and pleasure. Research shows early adverse experience may also contribute.

Many young people experiment with drugs and are lucky enough to escape dependence. But others – and not always those considered vulnerable – quickly become addicted. Once addicted, tolerance increases and the individual loses the ability to make sound judgments or good decisions or to learn or remember, so it's harder to respond to treatment.

It's imperative, therefore, that parents do their utmost to ensure their child doesn't try illicit drugs in the first place, and the best way to do so is to create an atmosphere in which your child feels unafraid to talk to you – about anything.

This will come across if you establish regular opportunities when they know you're willing to listen – at mealtimes, for example, at bedtime, and most critically, whenever they specifically ask to talk to you – and if you take time to listen fully and calmly rather than launching into criticism.

If they never ask about drug abuse, bring up the subject yourself when you see opportunities – for example, if it is being discussed at school, or there's a relevant news story. Ask them what they know about drugs and whether the subject worries them.

If your child is impulsive, you can lower their risk of acting before thinking by teaching them how to wait before making decisions – for example, counting to 10 or breathing slowly for 20 breaths first.

Start early facilitating opportunities to develop healthy outlets and social life such as sports, music, art or drama.

Encourage healthy friendships – but if your child chooses friends that worry you, you'll only intensify the relationship if you try to ban it. The best you can do (as long as they don't pose a real and present danger) is to encourage them to meet up in your home, so you can keep an eye on them, while at the same time actively promoting other healthier friendships.

Even then, however, you might not stop them trying drugs, so if you suspect this, be sure you're clear about the signs of drug abuse by asking professionals or reading up, and prepare yourself well for a difficult conversation. Practise what you'll say with a friend or partner or out loud to yourself (you could ask them to accompany you to help keep the tone steady).

Take time to settle your own fears and anger before you begin. When you speak to your child be direct, opening the conversation not with accusations but with certainty this is going to be sorted.

Finally, and whatever else, do your best to be a good role model. If you regularly drink too much or express your inability to do without alcohol or cigarettes, for example, you'll lose all credibility. Instead, exercise self-control, be moderate in your behaviour and try your best to show good judgment. This is more important than anything else you can do.