Set a time limit: If you feel as if end-of-year parties are something to be endured rather than enjoyed, this time-limit tactic will help. Tell yourself that you'll only stay for, say, 90 minutes. Giving yourself that space will make it less intimidating, but try to set yourself the challenge of meeting just one new person in that time.
DURING
Start with a compliment: Nothing breaks the ice better than a kind word.
Do a bit of research beforehand about the people you're likely to encounter at the gathering and the projects they've been involved with. Then pick out one aspect of it that you particularly engage with. This will open the door to more conversation as increasing common ground unfolds.
It also keeps things more professional than "OMG, I love your shoes!"
Bring emotion to the mix: If a project or piece of business you were involved with was exciting or risky, say so. It will show that you're engaged in what you do on a more intellectual level. This will also make you appear more dynamic and vital, which is just the kind of person that others will want to keep chatting to.
Ask 'why' and 'how' questions: If the conversation falters, imagine yourself as a talk-show host and throw in some open-ended questions that can't be answered with 'yes' or 'no' - these usually start with 'why' or 'how'. The key is to stick with what for many people is their favourite subject: themselves.
Hit up your heroes: In every group, club or company, there are usually a few people whose work, accomplishments or skills you genuinely admire.
Gatherings are the perfect opportunity for some interaction - especially if you don't often cross paths with them.
Once you feel comfortable at the event, introduce yourself and tell them why you wanted to chat to them. At the very least, you'll have a genuine reason to be there; at most, you might even find yourself a mentor.
AFTERWARDS
Follow up the next day: To consolidate the impression you made in person - yes, you! - follow up the next day with an "It was lovely to meet you" note.
Remember that a personalised message that includes detail is much more effective than a generic one.
Adding that you particularly enjoyed discussing a specific subject or hearing a certain anecdote will show you to be a skilled and engaging conversationalist - even if it was the other person doing all the talking.
Stick to the 2-4-1 rule: This tip is for the weeks and months after you've made a new contact, whether at work or in a social setting.
A good rule of thumb is to do two things for them before asking them to do one for you.
You're not only more likely to get a positive response, but you'll be remembered as one of the worthwhile people they met at that party.
Lumbered with someone you don't like?
Elyse suggests these three fail-safe tips to help the conversation flow:
1. Play nice
"Be the bigger person. Greet them with a smile, ask how they are and steer the conversation so it's about them - a subject they'll easily talk about. Cheerfully asking about their life will throw them off-guard and you'll come off as a nice person."
2. Stick to the weather
"Keep to neutral topics. Don't go too deep into anything like politics if you don't want to be stuck there. To ensure it's short and sweet, stick to light conversation - like the weather, how good they look or what they're doing for the rest of the day."
3. Buddy up
"I always bring a friend to a party. Having someone there who notices if you've been stuck talking to the same person for an hour and need saving is invaluable.
"A friend knows when you need them to get you out of a conversation."
