KEY POINTS:
They may all look like one homogenous, glamorous, black-clad group lounging about on Auckland's waterfront but as any anthropologist will tell you, there's a specific social order at Air New Zealand Fashion Week, as with all Fashion Weeks. Most of the people you see or hear about can be sorted into one of seven groups - we'll call them the Seven Tribes of Fashion Week. And should you see one of them on the street shortly, or perhaps even at the event itself, you'll know whether to approach them with caution or to embrace them with an air kiss and a hug.
THE MODELS
Tribe's role: To make designer clothing look good.
How to recognise them: Unnaturally tall, lanky and more beautiful than any other Fashion Week sub-tribe.
Tribal costume: Jeans, T-shirts and warm jackets.
Hostile? Not at all.
Environment: Backstage. And if not backstage, they will be just beyond the backstage area having a cigarette while their mum isn't looking.
Unusual customs: Kissing and hugging everyone.
Mating rituals: It's a beautiful thing when two hot models get it on, as they often do. Just think of the editorial opportunities. And after all, what do you expect; they're red-blooded young things.
Most likely to: not to look tired, even after several days of not sleeping or eating enough.
Gods or pagan idols worshipped? Fashion editors and art directors - in the hope they will offer the model a 12-page shoot.
Members of the tribe with most status: Gemma Ward and Catherine McNeil, the Australian models who have made it big overseas and are earning the money to match their profiles.
What can their ancient tribal traditions teach us during Fashion Week? Professionalism. Besides the producers, our experienced runway models seem to be some of the hardest working, no-drama people around. They turn up, they dress up, they go home and it's all in a week's work, no worries. And all this from a bunch of teenagers and twentysomethings - other ego-toting tribes should take note.
THE DESIGNERS
Tribe's role: To design clothes that will be shown on the runway.
How to recognise them: The designers will be in the middle of a group of people who all look alike. And they all look alike because they will be wearing clothes from the same label.
Tribal costume: A singular style. Because most designers - and most of their sidekicks - wear their own labels and nothing much else, they will look like an advertisement for the label they create.
Hostile? Only at certain times of the week. They can be if provoked as this is a fairly tense moment for them.
Environment: Backstage before, after and during their own shows. Occasionally in the fourth or fifth row if invited to another designer's show. And relieved, drinking champagne in a bar after their own show.
Unusual customs: They all own a clothing rack on wheels and they're not afraid to push it.
Mating rituals: Most of them already have a supportive steady. In fact many of the designers' spouses will be working hard behind the scenes as well.
Most likely to: Cry quietly in a corner. Or have a volcanic meltdown.
Gods or pagan idols worshipped? International buyers and media.
Members of the tribe with most status: Designers who show on the official schedule at Paris, Milan or New York. There are no chieftains as all local designers secretly consider themselves better than all the others.
What can their ancient tribal traditions teach us during Fashion Week? How to delegate. A genuine control freak would find it hard to survive at Fashion Week because responsibility for styling, model wrangling, seating, sponsorships and so forth must be shared among staff and helpers.
THE INVITED GUESTS
Tribe's role: To clap loudly. They tend to be family, friends, retailers, sponsors and other assorted individuals invited by the designer to view and support their work.
How to recognise them: They carry invitations that have been sent to them by the designer rather than the precious laminated pass of the true Fashion Week delegate.
Tribal costume: You will recognise them by their over-the-top outfits - too wild, too sexy, too much of a ballgown and so on. Because this is a big occasion for them. The guests and hangers-on are usually the ones wearing the grand feathered hats, the wedding cake frocks and the very high heels.
Hostile? No, generally meek, mild and slightly awestruck.
Environment: In the queues waiting to get into the runway shows and at the bars having drinks after the shows.
Unusual customs: Standing in the wrong line.
Mating rituals: Mysterious. This kind of carry-on takes place outside the realms of Fashion Week, probably at a bar on the Viaduct later at night.
Most likely to: become confused and end up in the wrong place.
Gods or pagan idols they worship? The distributor of the goodie bag.
Members of the tribe with most status: Rachel Hunter and any other celebrity guests, news presenters, or the Shortland Street-ers that they recognise, who are sitting in front of them during the fashion show.
What can their ancient tribal traditions teach us during Fashion Week? Patience. Often the guests to the shows arrive early. They must wait for any other shows to finish, then wait while all the delegates take their seats, then wait again to go in and then wait a little more until the show starts.
THE STYLISTS
Tribe's role: To put clothes and accessories together nicely on the runway.
How to recognise them: Unnaturally cool and extremely well-dressed but subtle with it, the true fashion leaders at Fashion Week.
Tribal Costume: Hip and happening but practical because they will be running around backstage organising outfits, designers and models.
Hostile? Not unless you're the idiot who put the shoes in the wrong place.
Environment: Backstage during shows they're working on. First few rows at shows they're invited to.
Unusual Customs: An other-worldly ability to accessorise.
Mating rituals: They're above that kind of thing. Their partners tend to come from such related fields as rock'n'roll or graphic design or skateboarding.
Most likely to: look cool under pressure.
Gods or pagan idols worshipped? Anyone who practises the art of Original Style.
Members of the tribe with most status: Katie Grand, who founded Dazed and Confused magazine, then Pop magazine and who works for the likes of Prada and Louis Vuitton and has been described as one of the most influential stylists in the world.
What can their ancient tribal traditions teach us during Fashion Week? Tact. How do you tell your employer that the creative look they've just put together stinks? Ask a stylist, they know how.
THE FASHION MEDIA
Tribe's role: To tell the nation, and the world, about New Zealand fashion.
How to recognise them: They carry notebooks everywhere into which they scribble mysterious messages.
Tribal costume: A lot of designer black but they don't dress up impractically because they will be working at Fashion Week all day. They do, however, tend towards fancy shoes, in case they're seated in the front row where everyone can check their footwear.
Hostile? A bit stroppy but not really hostile unless you steal their front-row seat. At which stage there could be a vicious territorial battle.
Environment: In the first two or three rows at runway shows and in the Media Room.
Unusual customs: Sitting in the front row at a runway show with absolutely no emotion on their faces.
Mating rituals: Many of them have non-fashion-industry husbands and children at home, who may sob softly through the cold, September night: "where has Mummy gone?"
Most likely to: Throw their weight around.
Gods or pagan idols worshipped? Gossip.
Members of the tribe with most status: Hilary Alexander, the New Zealand-born writer who has gone on to run the inventive and entertaining fashion section at the Daily Telegraph in Britain. And obviously the likes of Anna Wintour, editor of American Vogue, and Carine Roitfeld, editor of French Vogue.
What can their ancient tribal traditions teach us during Fashion Week? A discerning eye. These people are trained observers, you know. And they can also teach you how to sketch dresses quickly in a small notebook, balanced on your knee.
THE PRODUCERS
Tribe's role: To organise the runway shows and ensure everything runs smoothly, from timing hair and make-up to ensuring the right model gets on to the right runway at the right time.
How to recognise them: They will be muttering into some sort of a walkie-talkie and walking really fast.
Tribal Costume: Jeans, T-shirt and sneakers.
Hostile? They do not tolerate fools backstage gladly and can be quite dangerous in the face of idiocy, egos or unnecessary hysteria.
Environment: Backstage at all times. Very rarely, they may be seen getting some fresh air.
Unusual customs: Walking very fast, or running. All day. An aversion to being photographed.
Mating rituals: No time for that sort of thing.
Most likely to: yell at teenage models for doing something silly.
Gods or pagan idols worshipped? The maker of the list, any list.
Members of the tribe with most status: Anyone who co-operates and knows what they're doing and makes their complicated lives a little easier. And producers who run the shows at bigger Fashion Weeks around the world.
What can their ancient tribal traditions teach us during Fashion Week? Efficiency and organisational skills. Imagine wrangling dozens of fun-loving models, tens of demanding designers and hundreds of bewildered spectators, in a pressurised atmosphere, where everything must look pretty at all times and, uh, you get a vague idea of what this important tribe actually does.
THE BUYERS
Tribe's role: To purchase garments from the designers to sell in stores.
How to recognise them: They, too, carry notebooks in which they scribble mysterious messages. But they are different from the Fashion Media in that they don't look at all worried or pressured and they never, ever, run anywhere.
Tribal costume: Could be anything because it really depends on the store they work at, but generally it's expensive, designer and not too flamboyant because they, too, are working at Fashion Week and will be here 10 hours a day.
Hostile? Only to other buyers.
Environment: In the first few rows at runway shows. Or in hotel rooms and showrooms, being wooed by designers.
Unusual customs: Being highly secretive about what clothes they like.
Mating rituals: Not at Fashion Week - their domestic lives are going on elsewhere.
Most likely to: Look bored during a runway show.
Gods or pagan idols worshipped? The mysterious, undiscovered label with amazing potential.
Members of the tribe with most status: The prim and proper buyers from large Australian department store David Jones. Elizabeth Charles, who runs Antipodean-themed boutiques in the US, and anyone from New York.
What can their ancient tribal traditions teach us during Fashion Week? Discretion in a retail environment. These people shop for a living. They buy what suits, what works and what will be worn. Unlike the rest of us, they won't be rushing to buy that bright purple dress that's a size too small, that you might wear one distant day, just because it's a quarter of the original price.
