KEY POINTS:
There comes a time when your bog standard Chrissy songs just don't cut it any more. So we suggest 10 genre options that might offer your ears a brief respite from Snoopy, White Christmas and those Jingle-bloody-Bells.
1 Jazz.
No contest, it has to be Verve Presents the Very Best of Christmas Jazz. It's class from front to back with The Christmas Song by Mel Torme, Coltrane's Greensleeves, Silent Night by Dinah Washington and Winter Wonderland by Shirley Horn.
2 Novelty.
Yuk it up to Dwight Twilley's Christmas with the Martians: "We heard a noise up on the roof / It didn't sound like hooves." Or for something else in the Close Encounters vein there's always What Can You Get a Wookiee for Christmas (When He Already Owns a Comb)? by the Star Wars Intergalactic Droid Choir & Chorale.
3 Classy compilation.
No contest, it has to be A John Waters Christmas, a compendium of the moustachioed movie maven's favourites, including Tiny Tim's Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and Santa Claus Is a Black Man by AKIM & the Teddy Vann Production Company.
4 Funk.
There is always James Brown's Funky Christmas with his Santa Claus Go Straight to the Ghetto, but for something a bit different there's Christmas is 4 Ever by ex-JBs and P-Funk singer, bassist and legend Bootsy Collins, with a bit of help from Snoop Dogg.
5 Death metal.
Yep, even Satan's minions feel the need to hang a seasonal sock over the fireplace if only to get another lump of coal to stoke the flames. Here we have A Brutal Christmas: The Season in Chaos featuring dark numbers like The Little Drummer Boy by Tortured Conscience and frost like Ashes' Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silent.
6 Locked up.
If not the blues, then the spirit of the blues can be found in the Pogues classic Fairytale in New York aka Christmas in the Drunk Tank or John Prine's sublime Christmas in Prison.
7 Reggae.
There's plenty of dodgy knock-offs, but well worth finding are the Wailers' Sound the Trumpet, Dillinger's Hi Fashion Christmas and King Jammy's dancehall-styled Merry Xmas Skankin' Claus.
8 Soul.
Again there are compilations for Africa but the Whispers' Happy Holidays to You would have to be one of the best. In a mellow groove anyway.
9 Prog-rock.
Try Trans-Siberian Orchestra, whose bombastic Yuletide rock-operas mingle screaming guitar with full orchestra, choir, bad hair and a like totally far-out light show, man.
10 Mock-metal.
Well, you can't go past the Darkness and their Christmas Time (Don't Let the Bells End). Unless of course you manage to track down Spinal Tap's Christmas With the Devil. Original version of course.
