KEY POINTS:
St Valentine, the patron saint of lovers, was a priest near Rome in about AD270.
In New Zealand we need him badly and it only gets worse with age. We were told by the nuns if we got romantic with boys and then got run over by a car still in a state of mortal sin, we would go straight to hell where the air is pungent with the aroma of roasting sluts. Call me old-fashioned but I miss those colourful days when sex was dirty and the air was clean.
According to research, six women out of 10 prefer chocolate to sex. This can't be true - they must be making love to gerbils.
On Valentine's Day, it is not so much what you eat but who you eat it with. Nevertheless, few foods inspire passion and loyalty on the scale that chocolate does and chocolate has come to symbolise this celebration. I think the trick is to combine the two - if your Valentine says, "Stop eating so much chocolate, you're getting fat", just go straight to the chocolate box and bring it to bed, eat some more, give him some and continue your life as normal.
Chocolate releases endorphins which make you happy and anandamide (also found in marijuana), which releases serotonin.
OK, so you'd have to eat at least 100kg of chocolate to get as stoned as from smoking one joint, but you would be ruining your health and love life by not eating chocolate. Eating chocolate is a form of hooliganism - we don't need it, we want it and we don't care if it's not sensible, especially on the day.
The truth is, all food is suitable for romance; all food cooked for a lover is sensual.
Food has the power to transport you with happiness and love, and we all know that eating and dancing lead to romance.
Here's how your Valentine's Day dinner goes: scatter rose petals on the driveway, hall, dining room and all over the table. The entire house is candlelit.
The sound system is playing unbearably romantic music like I Can't Help It If I'm Still in Love With You (Elvis) and If I Fell In Love With You (The Beatles).
Dinner is seafood because it's light and you will need to be alert so you don't say something mad like, "I'm tired - I think I'll have a lie-down".
Dessert is chocolate cake.
The answer to the question, "What time on Valentine's Day is too early to start drinking pink champagne?" is, "It is never too early.
"There are only two occasions on which to drink champagne - one is when you are in love and the other is when you are not."
Happy Valentine's Day.
PETIT POT AU CHOCOLAT
Serves 4
170ml cream
1 vanilla pod, split
140g dark bitter chocolate
80ml milk
1 tbs cointreau
2 egg yolks
1 tbs icing sugar
Cream to serve
1. Preheat oven to 140C. In a small saucepan, warm the cream with the seeds scraped from the vanilla pod. Whisk lightly then cover and leave to infuse for 30 minutes.
2. Over a gentle heat melt the chocolate in the milk, add the cointreau.
3. Beat the yolks and icing sugar together, then add the chocolate mixture followed by the cream, blending thoroughly.
4. Pour into ramekins and bake in a bain-marie for 45 minutes or until just set. Cool completely in the fridge before serving with a little softly whipped cream.
- Detours, HoS
