Heartbroken couple told they can't adopt a white baby

Sandeep and Reena Mander estimate that they have spent around £150,000 ($NZD266,000) on treatments. Photo / Facebook, Reena Manders

It is early on Friday morning, and if life had turned out slightly differently, there would currently be children scampering across the spotless new carpet in Sandeep and Reena Mander's beautiful Berkshire home.

Plastic bowls and other toddler breakfast detritus would need to be cleared away in the kitchen. Upstairs, their four spare bedrooms would be cluttered with cots and toys. Instead, we sit sipping tea in the immaculate living room with their lawyer listening in - contemplating a silence they are desperate to fill.

This week, the normally intensely private British-born couple have found themselves propelled into the centre of a national storm, and over something as simple as wanting to adopt and raise a child of their own.

The Manders, both of whose parents came to this country from Punjab as children, have launched legal action against the Royal Borough of Windsor and Maidenhead and its adoption service Adopt Berkshire after being refused permission to adopt a white child because of their "cultural heritage".

AFTER SIX YEARS OF FERTILITY TREATMENT

After failing to conceive naturally and undergoing a brutal six years of fertility treatments, the couple, who are in their early 30s and work in senior professional jobs, approached their local council to be considered for adoption. But they claim they were told that because the council only had white babies on its register they would not even be allowed to apply. Despite a year of campaigning against the decision and being backed by their local MP, Theresa May, the local authority is refusing to budge, prompting their legal action.

"We've always felt British," says Reena, in their first newspaper interview since the story broke earlier this week. "When they refused us it was probably the first time I have ever felt different. This is my country. This is where I've been born and bought up. I can't really identify with any other country being my home."

Like many young couples up and down the country, Sandeep and Reena Mander first locked eyes over a sticky dance floor at a student nightclub. It was Reena's first year of a business information services degree at Leeds Metropolitan University, where Sandeep was studying for a degree in business studies after finishing school in Maidenhead.

She was assured by the doctors that she would still be able to have children. Soon after her recovery, Sandeep booked a private "Cupid's Capsule" on the London Eye and proposed, with all of London sprawling below them. They married in 2007, with a traditional Indian wedding in front of some 600 guests.

"We've always felt British"

Although neither of them is particularly religious, they held the service at a Sikh temple in Leamington Spa and the reception afterwards at a hotel in Solihull. Sandeep arrived in the traditional Sikh manner on a horse - and then, in a nod to his British upbringing, ensured there was a Bacardi bottle on every table during the evening do.

Reena, 33, who is a senior project manager for the communications company Three, travelled to India to buy her array of outfits for the day. It was only the second time she had ever been to the country. "The first time I was five and I got bitten to death by mosquitos," she says in her dry Midlands accent. "I've still got the scars now."

DREAMS OF BEING YOUNG PARENTS

Their plan was always to have children young - certainly before they were 30 - and about seven years ago they began trying for a baby. When nothing happened they visited a gynaecologist for advice and eventually were told there was no other option but IVF. Reena was around 26 at the time and excluded from NHS treatments, which at the time were unavailable to couples under 30.

When she finally reached that age, they were told she still could not receive NHS treatment as they had already gone private. This was the first time they enlisted the support of Mrs May. "She was very supportive," says Sandeep, who is 35 and works as vice president of sales for a payments company. "She wrote a letter in our favour, but the health authority didn't budge."

In total, the couple had 16 rounds of IVF back to back using private healthcare both in the UK and Spain, where more donors are available. They estimate that they have spent around £150,000 ($NZD266,000) on treatments.

Then, two years ago, Reena finally became pregnant, only to miscarry at around 10 weeks.