A billboard in Philadelphia seemed to advertise a long-haired, bespectacled man posing with a thumbs-up next to a lounging cat. Photo / David Cline
David Cline is one of a growing number of singles trying creative ways to meet people offline: “You have to find a way to express yourself the best you can.”
Tara was driving with a friend in Philadelphia when she saw a billboard that caught her eye.
Rather than a personal injury lawyer or fast-food rest stop, the billboard seemed to advertise a long-haired, bespectacled man posing with a thumbs-up next to a lounging cat.
“Dave is single!” it read. “Want to go on a DATE with DAVE? Message him at: Date_Dave_Philly.”
Tara thought it was funny and brave to post. “I was like, ‘You know what, I will just give it a shot, why not?’ So I messaged him.”
David Cline – Dave from the billboard – is one of a growing number of single people who are fed up with dating apps and trying creative ways to meet people in real life.
A senior citizen in Texas purchased a billboard similar to Cline’s this spring. In San Francisco, those looking for love have taped up personal fliers around town. Run clubs and “Pitch-A-Friend” events are gaining momentum. And Tara said she’s had friends at bars give or receive dating cards (similar to business cards) or “dating” bracelets, a twist on friendship bracelets that may have a giver’s name and phone number on it.
Everyone’s having a hard time dating these days, said Cline, 28. “Finding people and just navigating what dating is like, and the way the world is right now in the age of the internet, it’s just so different,” he told the Washington Post.
Endless swiping on apps makes it easy to feel like you’re not cool enough, hot enough or interesting enough, Cline said, and the cards are stacked against almost everyone who’s not conventionally attractive and ultra-photogenic. “Dating apps aren’t super conducive to showcasing your personality,” he said.
Enter the billboard.
It started as a joke with some friends. But unlike the stale prompts on an app, “the billboard has done a really good job at showcasing my specific type of humour and my personality,” Cline said.
“I’m not saying everyone should get a billboard,” he said. “I think people just need to be aware that dating apps are tough. They’re not easy, and you can’t put yourself down too hard. You have to find a way to express yourself the best you can.”
That creativity is resonating with people around the world, including Tara, who asked to be identified only by her first name to avoid online harassment. She loved that Dave’s billboard left no room to swipe and forget. If a guy is willing to put up a billboard, he’s probably worth meeting in person, she said.
“I’ve been trying to be braver about giving out my number to people,” said Tara, 26, who’s also made a point of trying to make more friends by joining neighbourhood groups near her Philadelphia home and attending dance classes. “This city has so many people in it. If it goes badly, I’ll probably never see them again. I really like the adrenaline rush you get,” she said.
“It feels very old school. It’s kind of like, ‘Wow, this is what my parents did.’ But it’s nice.”
She said it was frustrating to meet someone online and have a long text conversation that doesn’t lead to an in-person date. “I don’t want to talk to you any more until I can hear your voice and see what your sense of humour is like, and get to know your personality,” Tara said. “I feel like a lot of that is lost through text before you really know someone.”
Dating apps, which are getting worse, prioritise dopamine hits to get users addicted to algorithms, said Jeff Guenther, a licensed professional counsellor and author of Big Dating Energy: How to Create Lasting Love by Tapping Into Your Authentic Self.
“They want to feed you content to keep you on the app, but having an algorithm and a dating app that’s making it so that you can stay on the app as long as possible … feels like they’re making money off of our desperate hearts,” he told the Post.
Contrary to what apps show, there’s no endless sea of suitors waiting for us, Guenther said. It’s easier than ever to leapfrog from honeymoon period to honeymoon period, making it increasingly rare to find deep, intimate relationships.
“How physically attracted you are to somebody isn’t going to determine whether or not you’re going to be in a healthy long-term relationship, if that’s what you’re looking for,” he said. The best way to figure out whether you’ll really like someone is real-life interaction.
You could stick with dating apps for love andonline forums for hobbies, Cline said, whose favourite pastime is in-person gatherings with his Pokemon card club. “Or you can bike down to your local card store and go meet like 20 people who have the same interests,” he said.
Billboards aren’t required for dating, he said, but putting yourself out there in a fun way that lets your personality shine might be.
“He doesn’t like to do what the majority of people are doing,” said longtime friend Jacob Jefferson, who noted that part of what makes Cline special is how intensely he marches to the beat of his own drum and how he encourages others to cultivate self-love. “He likes to be unique, and I think that kind of speaks to him, his uniqueness, this [billboard] plan in general.”
There’ve been a few mean comments from people online about his billboard, which is set to come down in a little more than one week, Cline said, and some well-meaning messages who confused his Philly location with the Philippines.
But Cline has also been inundated with messages from people having a hard day who reach out to let him know the billboard cheered them up. “I appreciate it. I feel like a million dollars when I get a message like that.”
As for Tara’s message to him, it led to a fun first date that has them both thinking about getting together again – possibly for a comedy show.
Cline said she was “nice” with a “good sense of humour”, adding: “Honestly, that’s all I could really ask for.”
Tara said she arrived early, but he was even earlier, “a huge thumbs up”.
“And his communication was great. It felt very refreshing.”