Harry and Meghan’s family mistake could cost them

OPINION:

Meghan and Harry have both estranged themselves from their respected families, and it could be a big mistake that jeopardises their relationship.

If you take away the royal aspect, being estranged from your family isn’t that abnormal.

Counsellor and Psychotherapist Julie Sweet has dealt with plenty of couples dealing with the fallout of being estranged from their families.

Sweet explained that it always takes a considerable toll on the person that disconnects.

“The process can be complex and complicated for both the individual and couple.

“Adult children often feel uncomfortable disconnecting or emotionally cutting off from their family of origin,” she explained.

In Meghan and Harry’s case the fallout has played out like a soap opera for the whole world to relish in.

Harry’s written his way out of the royal family via tales of his frostbitten penis and beefing with his step mum Camilla.

There’s nothing quite like writing a tell-all memoir to make going home for your Dad’s birthday impossible. Well, in this case, it is a coronation, but the vibe is the same.

Meanwhile, Meghan cut ties with her Dad’s side of the family because he made the grave mistake of staging paparazzi photos.

Plus her half-sister Samantha Markle has made a semi-career out of slamming Meghan to the press, only to be outdone by Piers Morgan, who has made a full-time career out of it.

Thomas Markle. Photo / File

Still when you take out the glamour and tiaras, they are just regular couple dealing with a very real thing.

They aren’t the only people in the world trying to create a whole new Christmas guest list because they aren’t talking to the people that raised them - although not everyone has the option of inviting Oprah.

Still, it is a hard thing to go through as a couple and Sweet finds the best coarse of action is to seek help.

“It’s often also constructive to work with an internal family system therapist, or a couple’s therapist,” Sweet explains.

However, she also notes that strategies are also vital: “Some strategies that can support people dealing with estrangement can range from identifying feelings, implementing boundaries, self-care, understanding triggers and self-compassion.”

Prince William and Prince Harry arrive for the statue unveiling on what would have been Princess Diana's 60th birthday. Photo / AP

While an estrangement may take a toll on the individual going through it. Sweet stresses that it doesn’t mean that is an unhealthy choice.

Sweet explained: “Healthy estrangement can end toxicity and dysfunction, alleviate stress and anxiety and sometimes bring a greater quality of life and wellness to a person.”

So, if you think your partner’s family sucks, should you encourage them to cut ties? The short answer is no.

“It’s preferable that the decision is organic and comes from the person themselves contemplating the cut-off.

“Partners can encourage and support, yet it’s never ideal if a partner has an agenda or is forceful around another person’s subjective decision to disconnect from their family.

“Rather, a partner is best positioned having empathy and curiosity when it comes to supporting their loved one,” Sweet explained.

See? Meghan and Harry are just like us! Dealing with the same complex family stuff we all do! Just in better clothes and with a Netflix series in tow.