The procession and state funeral of Queen Elizabeth II. Video / NZ Herald
OPINION:
There could arguably be no better allegory for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex's disconnect from the royal family than Prince Harry's singing of God Save the King on Monday.
As the cameras panned on Harry, 38, at Queen Elizabeth II's state funeral in Westminster Abbey, he appeared somewhat disjointed in his rendition of the national anthem - at times singing, at others appearing to grit his teeth.
Onlookers were left wondering whether the grief of the occasion had overwhelmed the father-of-two - or if it was simply a case of him not feeling ready to sing the song in his father's honour.
The confusion characterises what has been a mourning period marred by miscommunication and perhaps even a degree of misperception for Harry and Meghan.
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex may only have been a few feet away from the royals at the late Queen's funeral, but the gulf between the couple and the rest of the family was clear. Photo / AP
All that has been clear since Queen Elizabeth died on September 8 is the depth of their sorrow - etched across their faces as they have had to endure not only the pain of losing Harry's beloved grandmother, but also an awkward reunion with the royals.
As they are expected to fly back to California on Tuesday to be reunited with their children Archie, 3, and 1-year-old Lilibet after more than a fortnight apart, little appears to have been resolved with their nearest and dearest, with whom they are thought to have had "little interaction" behind the pomp and ceremony.
According to Meghan's US chat show host friend Gayle King, who travelled to the UK to cover the funeral for CBS, no peace deal has been struck with the Prince and Princess of Wales, despite their joint Windsor walkabout.
Asked about the royal rift, King - who was introduced to Harry and Meghan by their mutual friend Oprah Winfrey and attended the Duchess' New York baby shower in 2019 - said: "There have been efforts on both sides … to sort of make this right".
"Big families always go through drama, always go through turmoil.
"It remains to be seen. Are they going to be drawn closer together or are they going to be drawn apart?"
The Duchess of Sussex was clearly emotional at the funeral of the late Queen. Photo / AP
You may have thought that the past 12 unprecedented days would have provided the royals with the perfect opportunity to patch up their differences.
But in reality, the extraordinary sequence of events that we have just witnessed has only served to highlight just how detached the Sussexes now are from The Firm, if not the family.
Take the state reception invitation debacle. Originally, the couple received an email saying that they were welcome to join the rest of the royals for the gathering of 1000 world leaders at Buckingham Palace on Sunday night.
The Telegraph understands that the couple only got wind that they might not be able to go after all following a press briefing on Thursday, when a question mark was raised by the King's spokesman over the attendance of "non-working" royals.
Such is the breakdown in communication between the Sussexes' people and the palace that they couldn't get a firm answer on whether they were in or out until Friday evening, when it emerged they had been invited "in error".
As one insider explained in bafflement: "They have done everything as best they could. They have turned up, they have smiled, shaken hands, whatever was asked."
There was a similar imbroglio over whether or not Harry could wear his Blues and Royals uniform at any stage.
The Duke of Sussex had to wear a morning suit for many events, while his brother and father were in military dress. Photo / AP
At first, the decision was taken that in line with the Duke of York, who has also stepped down from public duties, he should not.
Then a reprieve was offered to Prince Andrew to wear his uniform for the children's vigil in Westminster Hall on Friday evening.
After a hullabaloo, the Sussexes' spokesman confirmed: "Prince Harry, the Duke of Sussex, will wear a morning suit throughout events honouring his grandmother".
It added: "His decade of military service is not determined by the uniform he wears, and we respectfully ask that focus remains on the life and legacy of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II".
Yet behind the scenes, conversations clearly took place to ensure that Harry would be given the same allowance as his disgraced uncle - and be able to wear uniform for Saturday evening's grandchildren's vigil. The palace later briefed that the King had taken the final decision on it.
But when Harry received his uniform, he was reportedly "heartbroken" after his late grandmother's initials "ER" were removed.
Again, misunderstanding appears to have reigned supreme, since Harry has not been entitled to wear the cipher - or indeed the twisted gold rope aiguillettes - on his shoulder since February last year, when he was stripped of all his military titles, including his appointment as personal aide-de-camp (ADC) to the late Queen. It is distinct from that of other aides-de-camp, in that it is only bestowed on members of the British royal family holding military rank.
The fact he was granted permission to wear his uniform for the vigil did not reinstate with it his appointment as ADC, which obliges the recipient to wear the aiguillettes and the cipher. The Duke must surely have been aware that this was the case, despite the apparent incredulity of his largely US-based staff.
The Duke of Sussex was eventually allowed to wear military uniform for a vigil at Elizabeth II's coffin. Photo / Royal Family
Another matter on uniform that remains unclear is why the Prince of Wales wore only the cipher but not the aiguillettes, despite being obliged to wear both. It looked like a concession to mollify his brother but, as with a lot of what happened last week, no explanation was given.
The news, first reported in this newspaper on Sunday, that Harry was only informed of Queen Elizabeth's death five minutes before the public announcement, also speaks to a growing theme of disengagement from Harry and Meghan.
From the perspective of the so-called men-in-grey-suits they criticised in the Oprah interview, it might be understandable - but his own father?
Insiders have been at pains to point out that timing was the crucial factor here. He was told as soon as he could be told - in mid-air.
Although Harry was informed of his late grandmother's declining health at the same time as William that Thursday morning - the royal machinery kicked into gear to find William a flight with Andrew and the Earl and Countess of Wessex.
While they flew to Balmoral on one of the Dassault Falcon 900LX jets that conveyed Boris Johnson and Liz Truss to Scotland two days earlier for the prime ministerial handover, Harry was left to find his own flight. His aides struggled to find a suitable scheduled service, leaving him with no choice but to charter his own Cessna from Luton Airport.
He eventually took off at 5.35pm, an hour after Truss was reportedly informed of Elizabeth II's death. The release of the public statement was delayed until the King managed to reach him on the aircraft shortly before he touched down.
A source later explained that Harry was not treated differently from any other member of the family, since the King was not in regular contact with anyone during the course of a very difficult day.
"Everybody was trying to get where they needed to be. That was the focus," said the source.
"And the King was adamant that the official statement must not be released until all members of the family had been informed. That was a father talking because he cares."
The Sussexes' walkabout at Windsor with the Prince and Princess of Wales appears to have done little to heal old wounds long-term. Photo / AP
However, there is no doubt that the sequence of events after the monarch's demise shows the extent of the gulf that still exists between Harry, Meghan and the royals.
The disassociation works both ways, of course. As the couple prepare to return to what the King described as "their life overseas", uncertainty remains over whether - or when - Harry will publish his memoirs. That the palace and indeed, the royals, have no idea what's in it - speaks to a family that doesn't look to be singing from the same hymn sheet at any time soon.
