I'd love to meet John Crace. The Guardian columnist is acerbic, focused, appallingly funny.
I'd hate to have him review my books, though. He takes the bestselling publications of the day or decade (so yeah, I needn't worry), and reduces them to an 800-word synopsis which, almost apologetically, shows every affectation, stumble or yawn in the entire masterpiece.
There are more than 100 of them in this collection. A hundred! How does the guy find time to read them, let alone eviscerate them?
We move from Serious Fiction (Julian Barnes, Hilary Mantel) to Chick Lit and Lad Lit (Jodi Picoult, Nick Hornby), to Memoir (Sarah Palin), to Letters (The Queen Mother - "Dear Assorted Crawlers"), to Science, Thrillers, Travel, Cooking and Phenomenon (J.K. Rowling).
Every recent literary success you can think of, plus many you wish you couldn't, is here, in distressingly entertaining, unerringly accurate pastiches of the authors' styles.